Any creature that periodically and copiously bleeds but does not
die, and fails to exhibit any other stigmata of sainthood, should
be considered demonic!
The true story of the birds and the bees is that avian
males are adorned with decorative plumage to compensate for not
having penises, and male bees are either sexual prisoners or
asexual workers and warriors for an omnipotent queen. Drones
merely manage the queen's resources of spermatheca and
royal-jelly in thankless toil.
The Naked Mole, being Nature's paradigm of the barefoot and
pregnant drudge, labors underground for a queen ruling over
a polyandrous society, without dignity or respect.
The dual shadow-dance of the wooing Medfly male is both a duel of
hierarchal privilege and a duet of subordinated courtship,
regulated for and by the female; who is drawn to the victor,
patiently waiting under a translucent leaf, by the orchestrated
scents generated from successful competition, and who lights atop
the leaf so as to inspect her suitor's appearance and technique,
before joining him beneath the leaf for procreation. Due to the
inverted posture of their coupling, she may instantly interrupt
or terminate the act, if displeased in any way, by simply
dislodging their precarious perch and falling apart.
When the pheromone receptors in female mice are experimentally
altered, the females become belligerent and aggressive,
territorial and sexually assertive, which "unnatural" behavior
intimidates male mice, causing them to become withdrawn and
defensive, sexually disinterested, if not entirely impotent.
The female Kestrel selects her mate, regulates copulation, is fed
and spelled on her nest, and then she teaches the fledglings to
hunt; thus usurping all prerogatives, except physical
reproductive function, from the superfluous male.
The male Bowerbird attracts a mate with a beautifully constructed
and brightly woven nest, from which he is then evicted.
Acting like surrogate parents exploiting foster families in a
universal welfare program, the Brown-headed Cowbird and the
Afro-EurAsian Cuckoos scout appropriate nests, mate, deposit
their eggs, and abandon their offspring. The parasitic nestlings
not only compete with the natural offspring of the host parents,
but reflexively destroy them.
The co-evolution of male and female genital morphology exhibited
by Argentinean waterfowl has seemingly developed to thwart forced
intercourse, inhibiting the male's desire to couple as often as
possible while reinforcing the female's desire to couple only
with the most suitable mate, so as to sustain (if not improve)
the progeny of the species by selective procreation. The spiral
penis [nb: not cloaca] of the drake cannot be inserted into the
counter-spiral vagina of the duck without her willing
cooperation, thus ensuring that only the most suitable matches
occur. However, the feathered tip that embellishes the penis of
some drakes is used like a swab to wipe away any residue left by
previous deposits so as to improve his odds of successful
impregnation during copulation.
Although the male Penguin feeds his mate during nesting and
relieves her from time to time during incubation, if the
Magellanic Penguin lays two eggs during a time of food shortages,
the mother will allow both chicks to hatch ... whereupon she will
compare them, selecting the healthiest, devoting all efforts to
its survival, while entirely neglecting the other.
If the Panda (Ailuropodidae) bears twins during a period of food
shortages, the mother will select the larger and stronger
offspring to nourish into maturity, neglecting the less robust
progeny unto death; however, under similar conditions of
deprivation, a Chimpanzee (Pan Troglodytes) mother will not
deliberately endanger her own offspring, but will murder the
frail descendants of other families in the band.
Spotted-hyena society is matriarchal, with males inferior to
offspring. The female is aggressive, with pronounced genitalia,
and frequently cannibalizes her young. Most hyenas bear twins,
but are so precocious that the daughter of a dominant female will
typically eat her sibling while still in the womb. Excess males
of the pack are expelled into solitary and celibate existence.
Pigs are born with baby teeth ... side-pointing tusks
... which they use to attack their littermates so as to obtain
more nourishment for themselves when competing for food; the
mother, of course, will not intervene during her post-partum
lassitude, except to eat the runts.
Some species, like homosocial birds and frogs, are functionally
transsexual. A dominant female will permanently transmutate into
the opposite sex to enable procreation for group preservation.
Such transmutation is complete, and should not be mistaken for
imitation or surrogation.
Oysters are reversibly ambisexual, and seem almost impulsively
transsexual, because their form switching between maternal and
paternal phases within the culch is cyclically unpredictable and
unresponsive to population pressures.
Among solitary wasps, if a female is not present during mating
season, then one of the males will permanently transmute; hence,
whenever a solitary female wasp is ready to mate, she emits a
wide-ranging pheromone so as to create a lek, whereupon solitary
male wasps will travel great distances in order to compete with
other males for the right to impregnate her ... maiming and
killing each other so as to empty their ovipositors into the
several oviducts of the female. This exhausting process is
sustained by the depleted males voluntarily sacrificing
themselves as nourishment for the female, while the unsuccessful
suitors serve as a bodyguarding escort to where the female
deposits her incubated eggs ... allowing her to continue to
consume inessential males enroute to bolster her waning energy!
The male spider's reproductive organ is located on one of his
legs, which enables the female spider to seize and entangle him
in her web; where he's stored for later consumption.
The testes of the drone bee and the wasp spider
explode during copulation!
The male balloon fly initiates courtship by bringing a gift of
prey to the female, who is then so engrossed with this enticement
that she doesn't realize that she's being mated while she's
When mating, the male paper nautilus leaves his penis inside the
female at the end of his performance, and cannot mate again until
he grows a new one!
A female ferret will die if she goes into heat and cannot find a
Due to the male Banana Slug's disproportionately large genitalia,
the mating pair is sometimes irrevocably joined post-coitally,
compelling the couple to alternately gnaw upon the attached tumid
penis until separated. This might possibly be the origin of the
phrase: "going bananas", implying both enthusiasm and
When the male Octopus detects a female, he signals his amorous
interest by changing color and pattern. If the female permits him
to approach, he will caress her body with his several prehensile
tentacles ["feeling probes"] until she is receptive to coupling.
The male octopus mates by growing a special arm (hectocotylus),
just for passing the spermatophore to the female, who then
deposits it in her own body, whereupon the modified arm falls
off, and the male dies.
The male Anglerfish initiates symbiosis by clinging to the female
with his mouth, and remaining attached until their nervous and
vascular systems unite. Eventually the female can compel the
subjugated male to ejaculate, so as to control fertilization.
The male Praying Mantis engages in prolonged foreplay with the
female, who is indifferent to his claspers until aroused enough
to pull-off his head, whereupon he becomes frantically
passionate, and they consummate. In scientific experiments, the
female displays much more ardor and activity when her head is
The ejaculate of the Ground Squirrel not only serves as lubricant
and conveyance for fertilization, but also as a glue to seal the
vagina, so as to prevent further copulation or insemination.
The female Bedbug has no genitalia, but endures
"traumatic penetration" by the male's
"armored penis" thrust through her skin at
random; whereupon the flood of ejaculate finds her reproductive
organ to fertilize her.
Laboratory rats that have been induced to be romantically
attracted to tennis balls are statistically indistinguishable
from those rats that are attracted to each other, but those that
are sexually fulfilled are only slightly less satisfied
by tennis ball substitutes ... there is no data on comparative
As an animal, the snake is shunned, not for its role in sweet
talking Eve into a betrayal that evicted them from Paradise,
but for the fact that male ophidians are possessed of
two functional penises ...
which is every man's wish and every woman's fantasy! This may, in
fact, be why these tetrapods lost their limbs! The ancients, who
knew womanly wiles more accurately if not better than moderns,
attributed female characteristics to mythic creatures, like lamia
and amphisbaena, regardless of herpetology.
Lions copulate more than fifty times per day. Swine orgasms last
for about thirty minutes each time. The male Seahorse assumes the
female's pregnancy by transfer. Like the prospective bride
seeking the best suitor from a blend of cultural typicalities and
national characteristics, so Neo-Suffragettes seek to blend the
genes of lion, pig, and seahorse with human to create a
surpassingly superlative ecstasy.
If men are akin to the filthy flies that indiscriminately light
upon both sugar and shit, then women must be those attractive
objects of fleeting desire which impel men's flights of fancy!
Women without men would be ruthless, and men
without women would be scarce.
Why is seduction by men usually so inconsiderately
exploitative and offensively corrupt, but by women is so often
defensively accommodating or sweetly unselfish? Why is
indecent exposure by men considered to be
criminal, but by women is considered
If men had babies, then birth control and abortion never would've
been crimes; and if women had penises, then perversions and sex
crimes never would've been conceived.
When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions; their
reasons are always different.
Before political-correctness, men thought a prepaid date entitled
them to some consideration as repayment, and they assumed that
contraception was the woman's responsibility. Since women's
liberation, the female believes that abortion is her right
because her body is the repository for gestation, but that
paternity is both the man's fault and his obligatory
responsibility. Motherhood remains inviolate, but fatherhood has
become incidentally fiduciary.
If a Pro-Choice femachismo "womb-man"
can decline the honor of viviparous 'motherhood' by aborting
her fetus at will, can her milksop spouse or mollycoddled
mate of the Pro-Life persuasion demand apomixis?
If placental and fetal tissue is a valuable by-product of
pregnancy for research and therapy, then shouldn't specialty
groceries offer an exotic cheese made from the otherwise useless
milk of "almost mothers" who've experienced abortions,
miscarriages, and still-births? ... a true humanist will never
waste anything! ... but surely not as uncommon as llama whey or
goat curd, nor as rare as testicle transplants!
Some primitive cultures permit husbands to simulate menstruation;
and to sympathize pregnancy by indulging in dietary cravings and
morning sickness, and extending to empathetic labor pangs and
actual male lactation. But according to Feminist Doctrine, no
mere man can fully appreciate the spiritual suffering of passing
a ten-pound kidney stone or excreting a football-sized turd!
According to an antique adage, men must labor from sun to
sun, but woman's work is never done; because men were born
to toil and women were born to suffer. This is why
"motherhood" is not a biological function or a
familial role, but a true vocation deserving the highest status
and greatest compensation.
If the fantastic portrayal of luscious cheesecake in
men's magazines is incredible, and the unrealistic depiction of
sturdy beefcake in women's magazines is improbable, then
either the stereotype or the imagination is defective. If the
advice and attitudes represented in these periodicals do not
reflect normative philosophies, then either ethics or identity is
Men's magazines are about the squeezy bits of luscious
women ... and so are women's magazines! ... and so are special
interest and professional periodicals, all of which feature women
as the advertisement subject or the illustration display for the
accompanying topics, from sports (cheerleaders) and
mechanics (shop pin-ups) to science (sexy beaker
babes) and finance (the attractive bottom line)! A
man is only a means to a woman's end: her comfort, her security,
her fulfillment. His purpose in life is to enable these
facilities, or be replaced by a better provider. She cultivates
men in the same way she nourishes house plants, small pets, and
dependent children. The cosmos exists to please her every desire.
The conventional wisdom posits that women prefer thoughtful and
sensitive partners, but warm and fuzzy isn't as exciting
as torrid and reckless, so many women long for and fall
for brutes who use and abuse them. A woman may excuse enforced
attentions, but will never forgive missed opportunity!
Both men and women have found that it's best to keep one's
idealized companion safely tucked away in their fecund
imaginations, where such sterling qualities cannot be insulted,
because whenever this exemplary archetype escapes into the chaos
of everyday reality and must contend with the disagreeable
facts of life, they tend to become profoundly
unfriendly, extremely threatened, and terribly disappointed in
the broken promises of unsullied romanticism.
Men feign intimacy so as to engage in sex, while women feign
sexuality in order to engage in intimacy; women so engaged have
learned to interpret sex that leads to intimacy as a personal
escape or psychic release, while men interpret such as personal
confinement and spiritual imprisonment!
Women will give love to get sex, and then feel compelled to give
sex to get love. Men give sex to get sex, and give love to get
Men think that a woman's love is for her companions, but women
know it's for themselves!
No matter what the conventional mythology promulgates, men do
NOT seduce women. At best, men can sometimes
intercept a woman's mood or place themselves in the way of her
motives as she is preoccupied with her own seduction. The love
and desire that a woman feels for her own fulfillment is so
powerful that it usually attracts others to her, such as
prospective mates or dependent children. The attraction only
becomes mutual when the interaction is sympathetic. Post-coital
departure isn't indicative of a symptomatic lapse, since her
seductiveness is entirely volitional.
The post-coital dyadic escape, with men withdrawing and women
departing from the synthetic bond, tends to emphasize the
illusion of "togetherness" and concentrate on the
mutually exploitative nature of such consensual consummation, is
exacerbated by sex-linked physiology ... in that women are
pacified by arousal and stimulated by sex, while men are
stimulated by arousal and pacified by sex. The communication-gap
cannot be bridged when one partner is descending while the other
Lust is a powerful impulse that makes a man feel old but keeps a
woman feeling young!
A man's sexual prime occurs during his youth, while a woman's
peaks in her midlife. The only problem with these physiological
changes is that while a man's vigor is diminishing and his
strength is waning, his libido is shrinking and his aggressivity
is subsiding, a woman's contrary nature is becoming obversely
lubricious and violent! Aging seems to have a deleterious effect
upon both sexes, causing women to complain that
as a man's muscles weaken and his sex drive declines, it is the
most inappropriate and inconsiderate time for his penis to
wither! ... just when she (finally) wants a good
hard workout with it! A woman's perennial whine is that she
never gets what she wants when she wants it ... which is
just an echo from the earlier gripe voiced by every man who's
ever lived! The problem is not that females are aggravating,
because girls are always aggravating, even when
concocting seduction, but that unlike men, their innate
aggravation never abates! ... it seems to
increase by some unearthly design!
Anytime there's a problem, anywhere with anything, there's always
a woman involved ... somehow, someway ... men attribute it to
sexual tension, and women blame sexual jealousy. Even if the
sexual component is resolved, the problem is never solved ...
it's only redirected.
If people were boxes, filled with complicated circuitry and
electronic components, women would be the refined version,
featuring lots of meters and dials that would take a genius to
operate ... and even then it would lock up and break down most of
the time, requiring a great deal of adjustment and maintenance,
doing a few things well, but most things not at all! Masculine
boxes would be the original version that had been kludged
together as an experiment, being without refinement or
complication, and featured in a basic no frills package
that gets the essential job done. Everything the boy box
was designed to do, it did without fuss or muss, working any
time, any where, any way! ... and its only control is a
simple on / off switch!
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.
When a woman prefers to be more powerful behind a man,
it's called the feminine mystique; but when a woman
prefers being more powerful before him, then such feminism
is called breaking the glass ceiling against
discrimination ... it's always ladies' choice in the
realm of chickification.
The gender-gap is more than the arousal-gap. Men see themselves
as role models, and seek empowerment to define their principles
and enforce their logic. Women see themselves as enablers, and
seek empowerment to define their control and enforce their will.
Women's Rights may be a universal movement for
liberation, but it is not synonymous with
Women understand that men can be controlled by love, so women
love men enough to control them. Men do not understand that women
may not be controlled by love, so men love women too much, and
are unable to control anyone. Women are unhappy with their
success, and men are unhappy with their failure; but no one will
change the pattern as long as the results can be controlled.
Feminists are usurping credit for the evolution of human
bipedalism, based upon women's responsibility for both child care
and her role as food gatherer; which ostensibly required that she
balance her burdens in upright mobility, to accompany the nomadic
band. Any anthropologist can emend this hypothetical conjecture
with evidence garnered from social surveys of projected
primitivism upon the modern era, wherein men have obviously
initiated the bipedal posture so one hand holds his weapon and
the other hand holds his beer! ... besides, men can piss farther
when standing erect, and so don't foul their own nest, as women
The basic problem between the sexes is that their physiology is
out of sync or phase. Each morning, men must ascend the
evolutionary progression into modern humanity, and each evening,
women must descend the evolutionary continuum into primal
desires. Reprieved from her devolution, the sophisticated lady
encounters the male as savage brute; and restored to his evolved
status, the civilized gentleman encounters the female as
consumptive maw, as bestial fundament, as yawning abyss. The fact
is that each is seeing the other at their worst!
Men know that when someone is surrounded by wolves, then he
should act like a wolf; but women believe that when surrounded by
dogs, she should act like a pussy cat! But there are more things
under heaven on earth than will fit into a lady's reticule ...
from deadly spiders and poisonous snakes to lethal sharks and
scavenging wolverines, from contaminants and contagions to
bacteria and microbes. Go ahead and flutter your pretty eyelashes
or stamp your delicate foot at those intransigents, and see just
what happens! ... of course, some stupidly bewitched man will
rescue you ... as always!
Women tend to be reared with one of two preponderant
misconceptions: either the classic Freudian penis-envy, or the
equally traditional genital gold-mine ... the one feeling
cheated, the other cheating, and both unfulfilled. Perhaps the
intersexual gynandromorph or bisexual hermaphrodite has the best
of all possible options, and virilism should be a compulsory
mental health therapy, but that doesn't address all their
frustrations. Apparently, even among the "silent
screamers", there exists a desire, if not a craving, for a
more demonstrative expression of valid orgasmic fructification;
perhaps not dissimilar to the evidentiary ejaculate of males.
Perhaps if frustrated and hostile women were retrofitted with
ovipositors, they might then become contented and satisfied!
A woman is the life-support system for a vagina. The
only reason that a woman has both a mouth and genitals is so she
can piss and moan at the same time!
God gave men pubic hair as a cushion to comfort her
ordeal; and God gave women pubic hair to hide
the hook when he goes after the bait!
While availing themselves of man's attentions and ministrations,
women have complained about male impositions upon their style and
invasions of their privacy. Women allege that men have directed
their fashions and regulated their medical care ... so a
burned bra became symbolic of liberation. While men were
the professional scientists and physicians who developed tests
and treatments, as divided-labor gave women other
responsibilities, the health care was for the
female patients, and boasted a greater success than treatments
for males ... as examples, the most successful are Pap-smears and
mammograms. Perhaps an emotional dependency upon the Great
Mammary, with its sustaining teat and its comforting bosom,
has distorted everyone's perspective of the female form. The
homosexual males involved in fashion design are not the
stereotypical masculine oppressors, and are not suitable for wily
entrapment. Women have concealed their nipples with pasties to
avoid obscenity charges. The garter or suspender-belt for hosiery
is another masochistic appliance. Women invented the brassiere
(including a nursing bra which exposed their dugs) as an
armored brace of support, which was both more comfortable and
more attractive. Women act like the Barr-body was imposed upon
them by men, instead of by nature, and that they compensated with
rigid stays, corsets, and girdles ... finding these contrivances
a male imposition. The nuisance is of their own making, but the
result is enjoyed by both.
According to women, any technological change that benefits men,
harms women; and according to men, any technological change that
benefits women, harms men ... as if they not only occupy
different societies, but different spheres.
With a beautiful woman there are many ugly moments; but with an
ugly man there are many beautiful moments!
Attractive people want to be adored by everyone. Women will not
be nice to their competitors, but will be kind to the ugliest
man. Men will admire every beautiful woman, and will befriend any
plain person, but they reserve scorn for those who believe that
good looks and charm can substitute for practical skills.
The happiness of women depends upon their ability to sustain an
illusion; while the happiness of men depends upon their ability
to sustain a bluff.
Little boys go off to do dangerous things so little girls won't
follow them, but they always come back to brag about what they've
done so the girls will admire them. Little girls play with dolls
and other housekeeping games, but the boys are disinterested ...
until they get hungry and thirsty, and eventually need some woman
to bear them a son.
There's a bit of woman in every little girl, and alot of little
boy in every man.
It's an endemic trait: guys need to do stupid
stuff, and women need to caution them ...
regardless of the inevitable results.
Women would rather be attractive than intelligent, and men would
rather be successful than courageous, which is why most people
are miserable. Beauty is evanescent and fashion is ephemeral, but
intelligence, like a host of other skills and traits, is
meliorative and salutary. Competition is quixotic and attainment
inconstant, but virtue, like a host of other skills and traits,
is meliorative and salutary. Because civilization is (and has
been) rewarding artificial values, the concomitant decline in
coherent heuristic traits is affecting racial survival,
portending an extinction of the species ... just because little
girls want to grow up to become unrealistic
Barbie dolls, and little boys to become
conformist Ken figures. There is no
evolutionary niche for matching metrosexuals!
Women believe that most men would be tolerable if their raging
hormones didn't make them so hostile and competitive, and men
believe that most women would be tolerable if their raging
hormones didn't make them so inconstant and unreasonable ... but
since it ain't gonna happen, we are left with men trying to
impress disinterested women and women using intuition to detect a
When a woman wears far too much rouge and far too little
clothing, it signals her desperate dispair. Although a man's face
is his autobiography, a woman's face is her greatest work of
fiction. Only as long as a woman can appear to be a decade
younger than her own daughter will she be at all contented. The
husbands of beautiful women comprise a criminal conspiracy to
collude in the magnificent deceptions of womanliness.
Women are irresistibly fascinated by wealth and influence, while
men are fascinated by beauty and integrity ... which means that
women get stuck with either rich boors or abusive brutes, while
men get stuck with either fickle dolls or tyrannical harridans!
People choose the pattern of their sexual behavior while still
prepubescent ... if they can influence situations or acquire
their desires with an exhibition of charisma or magnetism while
immature, then they are more likely to employ their sexuality as
their primary talent after maturation. Among the beautiful
people, women will use seduction and men will use charm to
enhance their power and obtain rewards, and are unreservedly
bereft when their ploys fail. Children who are shy, or who cannot
(or will not) deliberately manipulate others, tend to develop
better character traits and learn to acquire skillsets that will
make them valuable in their society ... a power that
bestows a different kind of attraction.
So the lure of becoming a sex goddess or Prince
Charming drives hordes of acolytes and imitators into
voluntary abasement, while a few of the most notorious glamourati
are ridiculously recompensed, leaving the vast majority of people
to discover the extent of reality ... perhaps that's the
fascination of fantasy, the attraction of illusion, the
enticement of make-believe.
Women are like cave paintings: everyone can see what they are but
nobody knows what they mean. Men are like rock formations:
everyone can see what they are but nobody knows why they exist.
Men want the paintings to make sense, and women want the rocks to
be more attractive. Men end up adding more and more explicit
depictions in shelters, and women make shrines to their
evanescent beauty. Women end up defacing the rocks with graffiti,
and men climb the rocks because they are there.
Beauty is always a problem to a woman, but it's never a problem
to a man.
A man sees what he wants to see in a woman, while a woman sees
what she wants in a man ... neither sees all, neither wants all
... but when they select the best of what's presented, they also
get the worst of what's available.
While everyone has limitations, we tend to willingly impose the
most egregious upon ourselves. Women want men to release them
from their own grievous shackles, and then blame them for
shattering their chains; while men want women to hold the key to
their own desperate shackles, and then blame them for imprisoning
Men go into marriage with their eyes closed, because they are
focused on a vision deep inside that they believe will somehow
materialize in the home; while women go into marriage with their
eyes open, because they are focused on a vision far beyond what
exists before them. Each is blind to reality and envisions
something else ... something they hope the other will provide, so
they will never need to wear corrective spectacles.
Because the gods first elevate those who will be
destroyed, it is understandable that both men and women have
worshipped pulchritude on a sacrificial alter ... Adonis on a
telamon pilaster, and Aphrodite atop a caryatid pedestal. We
venerate our ideal of physical perfection and contrast it with a
blemished and mundane reality. The beauty contest, the
meat-market display, and the porno show are only variations upon
adoration. Her nubile body has the allure of the Promised Land,
and her groin is likened to an earthly paradise; while his potent
body promises stalwart vigor, and his groin is likened to an
entertaining theme park. Our appreciation is always transient, as
our attraction is always temporary; and we tend to recognize
other virtues much too late.
Men always destroy what they love best, while women always love
best what they destroy.
While traditional women pretend that they're helpless
and traditional men pretend that they're not
helpless, both modern men and modern
women are pretending that liberated women really
are equal to men ... it's a fairy tale that's
been codified into the new orthodoxy.
Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention; and man's
refinement is woman's greatest expectation.
Regardless of why it was initiated, or how it persists, there is
a predilection toward innocent women and experienced men. Callow
males will do almost anything to acquire the requisite scars
denoting manhood; even if their judgement
persists in being flawed, and they remain perennially immature.
Contrarily, women must not only strive for the appearance of
eternal youth, but are also deemed most alluring when able to
project virginal sensuality. This cross-cultural tendency is not
just an exercise in sexual dynamics or in fashionable
cosmeticizing. These are not just the pathetic efforts of
misguided adherents to wave the bloody shirt or to
bedeck the bloody sheet, to preserve a monument to
precocious Glory Days, to create a false
impression of lubricious vitality, to project an illusory
humanoid tableau. The issue is philosophical; and has nothing to
do with indulging the Last Hurrah of aging
crones before desiccated ovaries rule the beast. This is a
determination that womanly suffering and female experience is
both more unimportant and more unappealing than men's. This trend
asserts that women's emotions are superficial, that their
interests are trivial, and that all they have to contribute is
their vaunted sexuality; so plaster that genuine countenance with
feminine camouflage, and keep the real portrait of
Dorianna Gray secreted in the attic!
The femifascists allege that the deity must be female because of
divine creativity and caprice; but this only shows their
ignorance of the scornful and vengeful powers of Dame Destruction
and Woman Warrior goddesses. The dirty little secret that really
proves that God is feminine is the fact that all of the attending
priests are male, all the temples include alter beds, and gifts
or sacrifices must be regularly offered ... now
that's a woman!
Being God's gift to creation, the fair-sex insists upon
specious inequality! The double-standard consists of men
thinking that women will never change, and of women believing
that men will change; and each convinced that the other is wrong!
There is no point in having a double-standard, unless we
try to live both of them.
A good wife is a married woman who does her best to hide
the fact of her extramarital affair from the discovery of her
cuckolded husband so as to spare him hurt feelings and insulted
pride; while a good husband troubles to check in
periodically with his dutiful wife when debasing himself with an
alluring mistress so that his stay-at-home wife won't worry about
him getting hurt or being late. In the realm of scratch it if
it itches, the most honorable thing to do is not to keep
one's promise, but the best that we can manage is not getting
Everyone blames love for being as unfair as war, but the true
culprit is the implicit or explicit contract, which is supposed
to govern the behavior of couples, but is as ineffectual as the
laws of combat. An illicit dalliance is more exciting than
mundane routine, so the potential for hanky-panky
enlivens normalcy. Prospective encounters and other speculations
enrich the potential of an affair, and increase expectations. In
the marketplace of emotions, distributing love according to one's
need tends to devalue the product; so women have learned to
enhance their investment by generating artificial scarcity. If
possible, women would adopt eternal virginity with hymen
restorations, because they're convinced that the golden sun
shines directly out of their stingy nethers! And, when dispensing
love according to one's ability or worth tends to endow the
product with superior (if not supernatural) traits; so women have
learned to exploit their wealth by devaluing or debasing other
competing standards. It takes an economic crisis for most people
to realize that they can't survive with money, and the legal
tender is cold comfort. Likewise, revelations about the mythic
goddess tend to restore sexual sanity. There are no good girls
gone wrong, just bad ones found out!
When a woman is widowed, after a period of mourning, she more or
less recovers and continues to love others; but when a man loses
his family, he's more or less halved, disoriented and embittered,
such that life loses its appeal and remembrance becomes
burdensome ... her manner of survival is to move on, while his
method is entrenchment.
Women, in their vaunted consciousness raising, have not
elevated their standards for discrimination, but they have
changed the basis for that judgement ... their former
dissembling, qualified by passion and compassion, has evolved
into a quest for Mister Right, for
Mister Perfect ... and having discovered
the idol's feet of clay, they haven't the wit to
compromise, to accept some instead of none, to
value a part that's greater than the whole.
This categorical rejection of the once accommodating
double-standard now results in every man being inferior
for the ineluctable fact that all people are
wanting in some regard and disappointing in some condition.
Imperfection is the defining state of humanity! So while
prospective partners once anticipated their mate's deficiencies,
they also anticipated some compensatory or complementary traits
sufficient to beguile them through life's adversities ...
however, such consideration and latitude is now only extended to
the weaker sex. Ah, thou selfish bitch,
thy nature is fickle!
Eve's crime was promising Adam a finer paradise as they
dwelt in one; and Adam's crime was accepting that
seduction ... so they exchanged heaven for hell, with all of
Eve's daughters promoting glory, and all of
Adam's sons believing her lie.
It has been said that the perfect marriage is between a deaf man
and a blind woman, but that's a little too permissive. By
eliminating the detectors, the ostensibly bad behavior
persists; so the better solution to innate traits would
be to squelch the allegedly offensive characteristics
... "if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out!" So a better
marriage would be a blind man with a mute wife ... but we all
have examples of randy gropeing blind male parts and evil-eyed
stiff-necked nags waving their arms around in the earliest form
of sign language! So it seems that the only
perfect union is between people who've been relieved of
all temptations and attractions, and are absent of any parts or
appendages to gratify any of those vagrant passions should one
happen to transpire. Ah, the bliss of being an animated
perambulating vegetable! ... that's surely a goal of queen bees,
subsisting as a blob on royal jelly and served by drones.
If you want criticism, then marry; but if you want praise, then
die ... because women always search for men's broken promises,
while men always prefer to believe women's enticing lies.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an
accomplishment in a bachelor, and a duty in a husband. Telling
lies is second-nature in a girl, a stratagem in a woman, and a
reflex in a lady.
Little girls need security, and grown women need to indulge their
fancy or fantasy; while little boys need protection, but grown
men only need the truth.
Mommies rear adorable little boys, and then these nasty
little beasts grow-up to become the very
jerks that women abhor; and daddies rear sweet
little girls, and then these precious little darlings
grow-up to become the very bitches that men
abhor! ... where did it all go so disastrously wrong?!
Little boys spend their time concealing the truth from their
mothers, and grown men spend their time hiding the truth from
their wives; little girls spend their time concealing the truth
from their fathers, and grown women spend their time hiding the
truth from themselves.
Men usually save their honesty for their friends; but women will
lie to their intimates, while saving the truth for their enemies!
... in domestic affairs, honesty is not the best
policy, while in foreign affairs, honesty is
never the best policy!
Men tend to tell big lies in the belief that they are
the only ones that really matter, and their telling lends them a
potent aura; Women tend to tell little lies in the
belief that they don't really matter, and their telling lends
them an exotic charm; but the big problems are insolvable, such
that all of life is composed of little things, each done one at a
It's always easier to accuse, than excuse, the other sex.
When a woman criticizes MEN to a man, he will
usually agree with her out of an innate sense of honesty; but
when a man criticizes WOMEN to a woman, she will
usually cavil or excuse her sisterhood out of an innate sense of
solidarity. When men and women agree, it is only in their
conclusions; since their reasons are always different.
A woman will always criticize others more than herself, and a man
will blame circumstances more than himself, but no one ever
accepts full-responsibility for anything.
They are fickle, hear them roar, and amassed reason they'll
ignore! Contrary to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, women
want to have their 'cake', eat it, and make men
responsible for both the cake dishes and the cake diet. While men
would be willing to have it their way sometimes, women want it
both ways all of the time!
Women regard vehicles as necessary transport, and apparel as
essential personal expression. Men regard clothing as necessary
or protective covering, and automobiles as personal expressions
of essential symbolic style. From observing what a woman wears
and a man drives, one may deduce their respective income,
occupation, avocation, recreation, status, habituation,
pet-ownership, cleanliness, house type, and conventionality.
There are two types of women: those who imagine superiority, and
those who pretend inferiority. A woman with an
inferiority-complex wants security, latitude, associative status,
husband's money. A woman with a superiority-complex wants
autonomy, power, acquired status, and her own money, so she can
eventually obtain security and latitude.
If a man notices someone else wearing identical attire at a
social gathering, he commends the other's good taste
with wry wit; but if a woman encounters another similarly
dressed, she's offended enough to leave the party! Women claim
that they must be preoccupied with fashion and appearance to
attract male attention, but Poor Richard pointed-out that
even a blind man's wife paints her face. While flocking
to all the latest convolutions and contortions, women busily
contrive more accouterments and embellishments, such as the
bra/brassiere, corset, girdle, teddy, chemise, sark, merry-widow,
slip, crinoline, garter-belt, g-string, décolleté
and any other apparatus attributable to men.
The beauty-parlor and shopping trip, including complete bathroom
facilities, is as rewarding and refreshing to women as the
hunting or fishing trip, without superfluous toilet, for men.
If you throw a dog a bone, then you own him. Throw a man a bone,
and you own his productivity. Throw a woman a bone, and she owns
While men can be amorous, even a little tender-hearted and
romantic during the pericoital episode, they do not mistake
sexuality for sentimentality; however, women attune their
soft-heartedness or hard-heartedness to whatever is personally
beneficial, such that they can drive a man to drink or into
sobriety, inspire a man to do better or do his worst, entice a
man to leave his job or acquire a helpmate ... whatever is in her
best interest, and she does it all with a clear conscience. At
least men have morning after regrets, which prompt them
to send flowers every once in a while!
It's important to differentiate between the sexes, because
talking tenderly to each woman inspires her to imagine love, and
speaking scornfully to every man inspires him to conceive
authority, which discriminating conduct will garner a reputation
for unsurpassed discernment. On the whole, men are always
confounded by compliments, but women are never disarmed by
flattery ... so by such manipulations, one can never be undone.
Women are born judges ... of everyone else! Men are born
prosecutors ... of everyone else! Of the few defenders, those who
are not apologists, are asexual neuters.
Women judge men by their talk, and men judge women by their
Women believe that men huddled together for a raucous session of
boy talk is boring and rude ... unless women can
participate, whether they know anything about the subject or not.
On the other hand, women believe that a huddle of females who are
engaged in a lively session of girl talk is
not impolite, regardless of how boring and
meaningless the topics may be to the men who are compelled to
endure it by virtue of having escorted these selfish women to a
mixed gathering. Of course, any opinion on etiquette expressed by
a male is instantly dismissed, and if the men abandoned the
women, adjourning to a more salubrious rendezvous, it would truly
be an unforgivable transgression against good manners.
A woman's success depends upon her selfish single-minded
persistence, which enduring strength must be perceived as a
weakness, so her power consists of her ability to manipulate (by
any method or means) a man into doing her bidding ... not by
taking, but by being given. A man's success depends upon his
qualitative skillsets, his strength of mind and body, and his
ability to induce (by any method or means) others to do his
bidding ... accepting what is given and taking what he wants.
Men can sometimes predict what women will say or do, but they
can't change it. Women can usually predict what men say or do,
and can often change it, but they like to let men pretend to be
Women believe that their hearts regulate their sexuality, but
that men are driven by their hormones. Men believe that their
minds regulate their sexuality, but that women are driven by
Women often sacrifice their minds for a man's ego; and men often
sacrifice their hearts for a woman's ego.
Women believe that men cease to think and become
instinctual when confronted with a sexually appealing specimen,
but normal life is so insipid that it can proceed routinely, on
automatic pilot so to speak, such that an unusual
presentation of great stimulation is actually the only
time that men, brought dramatically out of their customary
torpor, are sufficiently alert to think! ... to
scheme! ... to devise a strategy of attainment! ... to contrive a
method for conquest!
When confronted, a woman's smile is her first defense mechanism,
and then a pout, before she finally takes some protective action;
while a man's initial response is puzzlement, then anger, before
responding ... so while she is amused, he is bemused, and the
aggressor always has the advantage, compelling the defender to
withdraw or counter. In other words, civilization has made the
gender of the attacker and defender immaterial, since uncivilized
hostility, while provoking different reactions, generates
inappropriate actions that do not ensure survivability.
Civilization has ritualized the threat interplay, which only
permits certain outcomes. Harm is the intrusion of real life upon
the artificial world of social interaction, where the endurance
and agility of a woman can counterbalance the strength and speed
of a man.
Women think that men should be strong enough to be hard and smart
enough to be soft. Men think that women should be soft enough to
be weak and hard enough to be smart.
Just as the contest between brains and brawn inevitably devolves
into applications of power (or power substitutes), the dispute
over sex-linked intelligence ultimately depends upon
interpretation. Women acknowledge intelligence in the opposite
sex when men exhibit conclusions that women agree with, or when
men display behavior that women approve of; but men recognize
intelligence in the opposite sex when women exhibit unemotional
decisions, or when women display rational behavior. Men know that
this distinction is tautological, but women must suppress their
femininity before they can discover this logical insight.
The lesson of Beowulf is not that our powers
fade with aging, but that after a couple of tough guys
knock heads, then mommy will take her whack at the
winner who bested her precious baby boy!
Research has documented the fact that men are both more and less
intelligent than women; and while women have no difficulty
believing the latter, they dispute the former with allegations of
cultural bias or gender
programming in order to excuse their deficiency without
a complementary explanation of their attainment. Men on both
sides of the putative intellectual divide are
not threatened by such a measurement because they find
fulfillment at their own level, taking satisfaction in a job
well done. Furthermore, men are not surprised by the
reaction of women, who are never satisfied with anything, because
they know that even if a woman is smarter about some things, she
is incompetent and dependent in so many other ways that demand
the assistance or intervention of a (mere) man
... that great big ugly, hairy old beast for whom the sweet
brilliant ladies have so much contempt!
Men are considered shallow because they have defined
boundaries; but women are considered deep because their
limits are still undiscovered.
Every woman has been kissed by a fool, and every man has been
fooled by a kiss.
Men may only think with their genitals, but, unlike cunningly
seductive women who're merely driven by their hormones, at least
they THINK! The principal distinction between
their thought processes being that men can think and act on their
feet, while women can only muse and contemplate on their backs
... as if the cogitations of a connoisseur of ceiling
patterns could ever draw a valid conclusion from a hug or a
If a man's penis is larger or his genitals are heavier than his
brain (and what man in the throes of passion has not
thought so?!), then his nethers should be in charge of his
body and soul; and if a woman's voluptuous breasts and buttocks
are larger than her brain (even if they have to be enhanced
by artificial implants), then her erotic assets should be in
charge of her sybaritic lifestyle!
Because of their orientation, women will need a gynecologist to
perform brain surgery; and men will require a proctologist to
attempt exploratory psychotherapy.
It is a compliment, if not a virtue, to both sexes if a man is
'well hung', has a "big banger", or has a
"lethally large zipper-snake"; however, it is
tactless, if not insulting, to both sexes for a well-endowed
woman with an over-active libido to be considered a "big
pussy". Notice the contradictory implications between
"Big Boner" and "Gigantic
Gash", "Tiny Twat" and "Micro
Member", "Mega Muscle" and
"Super Snatch", "Mini Muff" and
"Petite Probe", "Long Dong" and
"Deep Meat", "Cute Quim" and
"Precious Prick". The whole history of
cross-cultural conflicts may simply be reduced to jealous and
contention: under-equipped males resenting those more endowed,
and every man seeking the tightest possible fit, while their
women (victims of the same genetic circumstance) alternately brag
If oysters act as an aphrodisiac to increase men's sexual desire,
then women's sex-drive is diminished by wedding-cake.
The modern woman thinks that a meat loaf, a muff burger, a wedge
of hair pie, a honey pot, a lickety stick, and other T&A
convenience foods are essential cuisine for her mandatory move up
the food chain ... where status will insulate her from
hunting-and-gathering, and security will enable her to visit
fashionable foreign places, like the exotic Chinese cities of
Shopping and Buying, while avoiding disagreeable places, like the
Chinese slum districts of Sewing and Typing, Wiping and
Scrubbing, Cooking and Fucking. The modern woman thinks that
"eat your heart out" is a grave promise, "you
wish" is an oath, "in your face" is a creed,
"sisters know best" is a pledge, and "I did it
my way" is an anthem. The modern woman
believes that ploys, moods, plaints, tantrums, conspiracies,
inconsistencies, excuses, and exceptions are inalienable rights.
The modern woman won't feel truly liberated until parthenogenesis
Nature's ironic twist on parthenogenetic propagation is that this
survival mechanism for preserving a species (eg: chicken, turtle,
etc) produces only male offspring so that
normal reproduction can resume in the next cycle ...
it's God's little joke on the arrogance of female presumption!
There is usually a promise of womanhood in every little girl, and
a threat of manhood in every little boy.
The body clock runs at a different pace in men and
women. Even if a woman is married to her career and has forsaken
the prospect of progeny, she's acutely aware of her limited
period of productivity, albeit professional instead of biological
... she has only so much time to work her magic and
market her skills to prepare for the long lonely decline into the
grave. Men, by contrast, are more or less perpetual ...
substituting experience and talent for aged decline and lowered
expectations, knowing that civilization compensates for the
competition of vigorous sperm outpacing the contributions of
older unattractive men with more charm and greater assets. A
woman feels like a failure if she hasn't arranged for someone to
build her a nest and sustain her with recurrent offerings while
she's still viable ... before her biological clock winds
down, before her expiration date. A man feels that he remains
viable, if a little slower and weaker, as long as he's alive ...
able to start over, add on, expand and develop until his
shelf life is too dusty to recognize. A woman's body
clock runs fast and then runs slow, so the time it tells is
always relative. A man's body clock runs in the present
all the time, until it inevitably stops.
Men are constrained from retaliating against every woman who has
wronged him, but there's nothing to prevent him from relishing
the fact that her beauty and her wits are declining with each
minute of her age ... he is avenged 1440 times a day!
Women have a characteristic tendency to be precautious and
preemptive, as evinced by their anticipatory admonitions and
accusations; while men tend to be reactive, responsive, and
retaliatory whenever seemingly provoked into a conditioned
reflex. Eating habits may illustrate this dichotomy in that men
will feed their hunger, but women will seek to prevent any hunger
Gender-based malnutrition: females tend to eat their dessert
first, their salad next, and then claim to be too full for the
protein-rich entree; males usually ruin their meal with snacks,
over-indulge at mealtime, and claim to be too full for unwanted
foods. Both are preoccupied with alimentary or digestive
functions; and both attempt to compensate for ingrained bad
habits with excessive or stressful exercise. Foods are classified
as pleasing or unappealing, sexy or disgusting by gender-linked
cultural conventions, and part of building a relationship id
dependent upon the mutual sensitivity displayed toward one's
potential partner ... oysters on the half-shell versus ice-cream
garnished with pickles, or steak tartare versus asparagus quiche,
barbecued pork versus chocolate cheesecake, or stew versus
consommé, or Moon Pies versus Petit Fours. Perhaps the
possession of an intricate fourchette causes
hypersensitivity and complexity; and its converse absence,
instills blunt and protrusive simplicity.
College is an institution where pure women, who are above the
domestic chores of cooking and sewing, may go for an opportunity
to marry a good man with prospects, so they may spend the rest of
their lives cooking and sewing for him. While the major degree
for women is the MRS, men are pursuing the MS and MA majors.
Marriage is the arrangement that makes a housekeeper think that
she's a householder.
The old fashioned woman accepted courting by declaring
her serious intent, her marital goal, her manipulation of the
man's prospects, and her willingness to negotiate gratification
for domestic security ... it was a forthright proposition that
challenged male ingenuity. When beginning a new relationship, the
modern woman proclaims a prohibition against serious
involvement, her disinterest in marriage, her insistence on
separate but equal spheres of activity, her promise not
to interfere with his work or impose upon his lifestyle, and her
assertion of mutual autonomy and individual liberty ... all of
which dissimulation is false propaganda compounded by bad acting!
... not only does she borrow clothes and redecorate without
permission, clutter the bathroom and monopolize the kitchen,
leave stray hairs and tissues in random locations, but she
believes herself too adorable to ever be deemed
rude or intrusive, and pouts when so designated!
The modern woman, allegedly liberated from ostensible
suppression, has made a disaster of mating without learning to
build her own nest ... women have been usurping the male
abode for so long that it's not just their right of preemption,
but now it's a genetic trait!
The way to a man's heart has traditionally been through his
stomach, but men have also tried to sweeten a woman's disposition
(re: "sour-puss") with confectionery gifts ... making
them "sweet enough to eat". The sexual analogy to foods
and consumption focuses on both appearance and function in
pleasurable gratification. Good sex, like good food, is
delectable, and succulent; and
bad sex is dull, distasteful, unsavory, insipid, and
unsatisfying. Cooked meat is good, and raw meat is bad ... which
is why good sex is always hot, and
cold "leftovers" remain after bad sex. Sexual
relations may be euphemized as "hiding the salami",
"stab the pork sword", "sink a beef injection",
or "parade the pants python". Masturbation has been
referred to as "beating the meat", "flogging the
flesh", and having a "taffy-pull". Pregnancy is
often called "rising dough", having a "bun in the
oven", and getting the fetus "cooked just right";
with the placenta called a "cake", "loaf",
"tart", or "biscuit", and the new born's skin
called a "crust". The act of eating is often a prelude
to or representative of sex; therefore, male genitals symbolize a
"crowned homunculus" or "little man on his pillow
throne", while the female genitals are a face: with the mons
being the forehead, the clitoris being the nose, the labia being
cheeks and lips, and the vagina being the mouth. Due to the
symbolic imagery of a "lower face", many men in
primitive cultures fear that their parts will be gobbled and lost
during sexual-intercourse ... some even claim that the vagina
conceals vicious teeth!
The hot pepper is reputed to have evolved its spiciness as a
defense mechanism that would promote its survivability, but
masochistic humans sought its fiery tanginess as a savory
indulgence, and so perversely cultivated it, which positively
guaranteed its persistence ... and so it is with other piquant
extravagances, like impudent women and precocious children. The
only problem with this speculative hypothesis is that the bland
pepper has also survived, and it too is cultivated, just like the
reserved lady or the polite progeny, who have no need to
advertise their attractions.
Aphrodisiacs, by imitation, are alleged to arouse sexual desire
and enable sexual capacity. These substances are derived from
phallic or swollen shapes, from viscous or succulent objects,
from fecund or fertile sources, and then ingested, with hope of
similar results. Some substances, like Spanish Fly and ginseng,
actually produce physiological effects, but aphrodisiacs are
primarily autogenic. Ginseng has experimentally increased
blood-pressure, stamina, and endurance. Ginseng causes hens to
eggs, frog ovaries to develop faster, female rats to be more
sexually responsive, and male rats to ejaculate faster. Ginseng
is obviously perfect for the modern relationship!
Wherever food symbolizes or substitutes for sex, the tongue
serves as a knife and the hands as a fork when consuming one's
partner. Female breasts are variously characterized as
melons, grapefruit, oranges,
apples, and fried-eggs. Women are variously
depicted as a ripe-fig, stuffed-date,
bread-basket, hot cross-bun, dish of
pudding, bowl of sauce, kumquat,
peeled-grape, hot-tamale, tomato,
mushroom, stuffed-pepper, dumpling,
peach pie, cherry cobbler, cookie,
honey-pot, piece of cake, tart,
turnover, sugar-plum, doughnut-hole,
meat loaf, bit of mutton,
plucked-chicken, spare-rib, piece of
snapping-turtle, and bean-snapper. Men are
variously limned as a sausage, hot-dog, tuber with radishes,
broad-bean, sea-slug, shrimp/prawn, celery-stalk,
asparagus-spear, cucumber, banana, prairie-oysters,
Is sperm measured with femtograms?!
When a man wants a cookie, he finds a place that sells them,
selects one, buys it and eats it. When a woman wants a cookie,
she first has to decide what kind of cookie she wants, then
consider whether she has the resources to make it, then determine
where this special confection might be purchased, then do some
comparison shopping, debate with herself about her initial
selection after reviewing all the other choices, go back to where
she thinks she found the right cookie, keep
looking until she finally remembers, and then arrive at the right
place after the cookies are sold out or the store is closed, and
ultimately return home without any cookies at
all! ... having spent a hundred times the price of the
cookie on shopping for it, she will rationalize her deprivation
by congratulating herself on avoiding the temptation of sweets
while titillating herself with the appearance and smell of
cookies. She will then be very upset when she learns that her man
had a cookie, and that he has not noticed how her abstinence has
made her attractively gaunt and wan ... at least in her own
The great green-eyed monster actually has a function in
the natural selection process of survival of the
fittest, but not with women, who ostensibly manifest this
state more often than men. A woman's temperament may be affected
by jealousy, but with women being such emotional creatures,
anything might affect them! ... and aside from
psychosomatic reactions to all psychogenic stimuli, women do not
exhibit a consistent physiological response to jealousy ...
however, men do. Sperm samples taken from men committed to a
long-term stable relationship show that the number and motility
of sperm diminish over time ... just as if the actual sperm were
as bored by staid monogamy as the contented lovers themselves!
Other sperm samples show that if a man suspects his female
partner is having sex with other men (regardless of whether or
not she truly is adulterous), his sperm will not only be more
numerous and active, but will also develop specialized
"assassin" sperm that will search and destroy any
"alien" sperm! ... so as to impregnate the egg with the
"best" sperm. The woman, of course, regardless of her
promiscuity, must simply be sufficiently alluring to attract the
"best man" so that she may host the "right
stuff"! ... everything else is just
Just as masculine kindness is inversely proportional to penis
size, so female mental capacity is inversely proportional to
breast size, factored by nymphomania, compounded by avarice,
multiplied by the square-root of shopping time, and divided by
nagging or gossiping speech rates, for an inevitable and
invariably subnormal quotient.
The priorities of interest in the human visual hierarchy are:
- children notice women first, then other children, and
- men notice women first, then other men, and finally
- women notice other women first, then children, and finally
In an ideal world, every man wants a son to propagate his best
qualities, and every woman wants a daughter to inherit her finest
traits, but in reality, boy children are God's reward for
saintly motherhood, and girl children are God's
punishment for being an evil lustful
man, impregnator of virgins and head of the
Children grab dolls by the neck, pets by the waist, and parents
by the ears. Women grab children by the waist, men by the ears,
and pets by the neck. Men grab children by the ears, women by the
waist, and bottles by the neck! ... men's pets don't have to be
grabbed at all, since they willingly follow their masters.
Every date with a woman is a covert operation with clandestine
objectives, while every encounter with a man is a siege with the
objective of conquest! ... men want to plant the flag
while women want to furl their banner.
Women want to be pampered on their perfect date, while
men want to be tantalized ... such that a woman thinks that the
perfect end to a romantic evening of soothing caresses
is a variable speed vibrator with a twenty word vocabulary of
compliments! ... while a man thinks that the perfect end
to a boisterous evening of raucous entertainment is a compliant
dummy that cheers his every achievement, as if he invented each
act and were its foremost practitioner!
Women romance men on the job while men pick-up women at parties,
then they're surprised by the "unrevealed
aspects" of their selections. For best results, women
should recruit lovers at the loan department of banks, and men
should solicit mates in the toilet-paper section of grocery
stores ... then they can build "meaningful"
relationships from explicit truths. Without pretenses, men will
no longer need the disguise of being a bountiful Santa
Claus, and women will no longer need the deception of being
an elaborately decorated Christmas tree, because
clinquant mirth is as ephemeral as tawdry lust is impermanent.
Perennial adornment is worse than a boring obstruction or
bothersome interference ... it's unrefined and unsophisticated.
Women want men to choose between home and office, between work
and family, between nurture and nature; and then blame them for
their decision to prefer one over the other at any given time.
Men want women to choose between homemaking and sex; and then
blame them for abandoning both!
Little girls dream about marriage when they grow up, and little
boys dream about work when they grow up. Grown women try to
combine their relationships with their work, and are frustrated
by the conflict; while grown men try to separate their work from
their relationships, and are frustrated by the conflict. Women
seek satisfaction in togetherness, in sharing with someone
special; but men seek fulfillment in job satisfaction, in finding
a place where they can be left alone. When women retire, they
expand and extend their social network, and when men retire, they
retreat from all the pestiferous nagging into the attic or
basement, the garage or hunting cabin.
The professional gender-gap is marked by a rat-race
cluttered with intersecting "mommy-tracks", by the
"glass-ceiling" in the "up or out" promotional
pattern, and by the equal pay for work provisions of
affirmative-action for preferred females. The distinguée
are chartering their reactionary old-girl network and
establishing their petticoat imperialism, are also
instituting role-reversal cotqueans and contractual
house-husbands to restructure the cultural dynamic. Because men
have been tied to apron-strings since time immemorial,
and skirts have swept-away to concealed too many male foibles,
women are insisting upon their version of "riding
coattails" into prominence. Matriphobia will not be
transposed into matriarchy, but a distraite gynecocracy is
plausible. After they've transformed their discredited
patriarchy, and transmogrified all the former oppressors into
eunuchs and berdaches, they won't be able to restore Humpty
Dumpty, and retrieve what they've discarded.
It's been said that a man can be persuaded and manipulated by
praising his skills, and a woman can be persuaded by praising her
assets, but a worthwhile alteration is not attained so cheaply
... rather the attention paid by the compliment makes each man
and woman aware of their deficiency by comparison with the
commender, and that now apparent lack inspires them to want to
change, to bask in favorable notice, to acquire the skills and
assets of the complimenter. That's what approbation can wrought;
the trick is to turn it into respectful esteem.
The only problem with women moving into the world of men is that
they don't think that there should be consequences for their
(adorable little) mistakes. The only problem with men moving into
the world of women is that their priorities change along with
their deportment. Men who succeed at woman's work become
petty and temperamental, while women who succeed at man's
work become crude and insensitive. The sexes do not meld or
amalgamate, creating a new epicene being with unisexual traits,
but exchange characteristics ... typically the worst of both ...
so the distrust and animosity is perpetuated. In human affairs,
the other side of subordination isn't anti-subordination or
contra-subordination, but is reverse subordination, perpetually
vindicated. Liberation is a cosmic joke ... a rather unamusing
Women exhibit their satisfaction with success by smiling, patting
their hairdo, and giggling, or if feeling particularly triumphal,
by mindlessly jiggling and squeaking! And men exhibit their
satisfaction with success by grinning, shrugging, and scratching
their balls, or if feeling particularly triumphal, by mindlessly
swaggering and grunting! Both responses are social displays
learned from our primate antecedents, with the males exhibiting
strength and dominance, while the females exhibit immaturity and
charm ... the male being threatening and the female
Behind every successful man is a determined woman, behind every
disgraced man is the "other (ambitious) woman", behind
every successful woman is herself, and behind every failed woman
is an interfering man!
Most men know that just showing up at the right place, at the
right time, ready and willing to do the task at hand is half the
job, and that this commitment almost guarantees success ... while
women, who are chronically tardy or absent, offering excuses
instead of results, complaining instead of producing, never
understand that failure is not about them, but because
of them! ... they think it's an evil plot perpetrated by men,
when it's simply negligence, delinquency, or dereliction. Women
think that they should be noticed and appreciated for just
attempting to do something, but men engage the causal connection
between labor and production, subsuming the planning and
distribution as part of the matrix. Women think that performance
is a chance to fulfill their vanity, but men know that it's an
opportunity to demonstrate their competence.
Women claim that they have to work twice as hard to get half the
credit; but they always find a way to include men in their
efforts. Men never confuse hard-work with success, never mistake
aspirations for accomplishments, never misconstrue attempts for
achievements. The biggest part of women's work is supposedly
remaining calm, but the major part of men's work is
Men exert influence and dominance by personal discipline and
masterful organization, which often becomes disorganized and
dysfunctional with increased complexity. Women assert control by
imposing personal confusion onto illogical structures, which
becomes more confusing with entropic devolution, for which they
always have some plausible excuse.
Even when women are gross slobs, regardless of economic status,
they like things nice and clean, neat and tidy, even if someone
else has to maintain it for them. They like pretty clothes,
attractive hairstyles, shiny cars, bright crystal and silver;
they like a clear view through a window, a taut bed with sweet
smelling linens, uncluttered carpets, and cakes decorated to
perfection. They can squat in ruins enthralled by fashion or
decorating magazines; they can live in squalor while gazing
fixedly at fantasy television. Fairy tales were invented for
them, and love songs have been composed for them. They imagine
themselves to be so adorable that the messy evidence of their
minor imperfections will always be overlooked. They know the
consequences of their indolence and irresponsibility, but it
neither curbs their lust nor inhibits their seductive entrapment.
They want their perfect cake and to eat it too
... and the only reason why they can't
have it all is because some man somehow
interfered at one time or another.
Like their jewelry, women keep their pride in an
especially safe place so they can bring it out for ostentatious
display on special occasions ... it dazzles like glittering
stars, and bespeaks a woman's true value. Also like their
jewelry, men wear their pride all of the time ... it
displays its roughness like battle scars, and bespeaks a man's
Women don't accept irresponsible behavior ... they transform it
into emotion ... which is perceived as a way of preserving their
integrity. Men don't accept irresponsible behavior ... they
reinterpret it as challenge ... which is perceived as a way of
preserving their pride.
Women believe that men have made such a mess of everything that
they, with their different point of view, with their atypical
reasoning, should be placed in charge ... arguing that they
couldn't possibly mess things up any worse! Men believe that
everything is a mess precisely because they haven't been as
dominant and ruthless as they should have been, being rather too
polite and accommodating, too sensitive and considerate, in that
they desired the adoration and approbation of their womenfolk.
And while the female leaders have no intention of sharing their
command with men, men note with Biblical authority and historical
accuracy that they have always been unevenly yoked ...
tied to ostensible helpmates who are resistant and reluctant,
obstructive and destructive. To which women respond: "We don't
want to be better than men, but only the same as
men ... just as lazy and stupid, as base and greedy, as arrogant
and incompetent! It's our turn to rule."
Men and women each have goals, and each blames the other for the
choices they seek to fulfill; but it's not the objective that's
so offensive to the opposite sex ... it's the way those goals are
sought. And it's really not either the means or the ends ... it's
who we are. Each of us resents the fact that we are not
whole and complete unto ourselves alone, like a perfect god ...
that we require a complementary mate to enhance our perspective,
to enlarge our assets, to extend our mortality ... we resent the
fact that our attainments require a counterpart companion to
forestall our loneliness in the cosmic void, to applaud our
historic triumphs, to comfort our bruised failings. We resent the
fact that our other half is too often our better
half and that our identity is not identical with our dyadic
set. This imperfection is the source of all our confusion, and
explains our persistent foolishness.
Women say that going through the motions isn't the important
part, because anyone will eventually find justification or
meaning in the accomplished act. Men identify the inspiration or
impulse, and then find a way to accomplish the intended act.
Since women act in ignorant and irrational ways, they focus on a
detail, isolate a part, delimit any of the non-sequitur processes
in order to identify a truth, or to discriminate a falsity. Men
focus on the results of progressive entailments in order to
discover a defect, or to identify errors. Although both sexes
reason from the general to the specific, and vice versa, men find
meaning in the patterns, while women find patterns in the
meaning. It's the same distinction between art and science,
between preparation and improvisation, between diagnosis and
divination, between perception and extrasensory perception/ESP,
between cognition and precognition ... as between astronomy and
Men prefer to take a linear approach in order to achieve the
complexity of a fractal flux, while women prefer taking a
non-linear approach to achieve the vortex of spastic chaos ... in
former, a line is taken into a pattern, while in the latter, the
center is taken out of a pattern. Men are probably unintuitively
logical because they address patterns from the outside, and women
are probably illogically intuitive because they approach patterns
from the inside ... with the external giving a perspective, and
the internal giving none. Both are distorted interpretations, and
neither affects the pattern.
Men imagine that, because they think vertically, they can
over-come the fact that they don't know what they're doing by
above it; and women imagine that, because they think laterally,
they can get-around the fact that they don't know what they're
doing by moving past it.
Whether in government, business, or sexual appraisal, young men
start at the bottom and work their way upwards, while old men
start at the top and savor the delights of going down; but women
always finish in the middle wherever they begin!
When women want to be seductive, they put-on a style; and when
they want to be successful, they take-off their clothes. When
women want to be sincere, they put-on a persona, and when they
want to be serious, they take-off their make-up.
Gender differences extend to competitive strategies, in that
women assess the field and then imitate or embellish the winning
methodologies (ie: "You gotta offer what they want!");
while men appraise the goal and then arrange or enhance the
winning methodologies (ie: "They gotta want what you
offer!"). The essential difference between the sexes is that
women "get what they want", while men "want what
A man will compliment a woman in order to complement her; but a
woman compliments a man in order to complement herself.
Women are miserly in their self-adoration ... resenting any
contrasts and all competition. Men are profligate in their
admirations ... welcoming any contrasts and all competition.
Women think that the benefits of genetics should transcend caste
and class to allow abilities to fulfill aspirations. Men believe
that caste and class exist, following extensive hereditary
development, to maximize the established genetic potential. If
somethings are too expensive to be budgeted, then others are too
priceless not to be acquired.
Men bestow accolades for sexual appetites to compliant and
accommodating partners; while women reserve their plaudits for
The feminist preoccupation with aerobic calisthenics is just
another instance of attempting to prove that men are unnecessary.
With a strict regimen of diet and exercise, they hope to
sublimate their fantasies and acquire the agility to perform
autoerotic cunnilingus. Now that's something to
get the pulse over-oxygenated about!
If, as is purported, older women are more grateful for good
loving, then it can be posited that older men are more
appreciative. They both know that it may be their last venture
into ecstasy, so they want to enjoy it before they lose the
ability to perform, or even forget why it used to be so
Although most languages are gender-specific, kitchen apparatuses
and utensils are most representative and explicit. Obviously,
knives are male, and forks are female. The refrigerator, with top
or bottom freezer, is characteristically female. The sink,
especially doubled with a long central faucet, is
characteristically male. The toaster is typically male, because
it gets hot and springs-forth its contents. The oven or stove is
typically female, because it gets hot and waits for something to
come onto it or into it. The coffee percolator is functionally
male, with its rich spurting cycle; and even old men can relate
to the drip-brew machine that quietly produces a great cupful.
The yoghurt and bread-making machines are functionally female
because their mix will go sour or flat, and may produce monsters
if the starter is too old or inadequate. Rolling-pins are female,
but cookie-cutters are male. Mixing bowls are female, but icing
applicators are male. Hard-edged spatulas are male, and scooped
spoons are female. Skillets and pots are male, but lids are
female. The stringy floor-mop is female, and the bristle broom is
male. Food is another subject!
Men ask questions either to elicit information while educating
themselves, or to intimidate the interlocutor with his obvious
ignorance; and women ask questions either to relieve their
boredom while entertaining themselves, or to intimidate the
interlocutor with his obvious guilt ... with the consequence of
these interrogations being that men learn to ignore women's
questions, and women learn to ignore men's answers!
In the 'bad old days', when everyone pretended that
father knew best, and mothers conspired to enact
workable solutions from behind the scenes, everything was
controlled insanity! In the 'bad new days', when
everyone knows that mother's solutions are not only unsuccessful
but inconsistent, and no one ever asks father anymore because he
can't even control mother, much less reality, the result is that
everything is chaotically out-of-control! We've gone from tedious
lectures and boring homilies, interspersed with explosive
outrages and unwarranted punishments, to the 'kinder and
gentler', the 'warm and fuzzy' approach to every
situation ... illogical double-talk and contradictory advocacy,
interspersed with hysterical resignations and spastic bathos! ...
"Don't start that again now!" and "If you don't get
it, then I can't explain it!".
The women who hate men, such as prostitutes and feminists, begin
their animus by resenting or detesting their fathers; and the men
who loathe women, such as gigolos and pimps, eunuchs and rapists,
begin their antipathy by resenting or detesting their mothers ...
and like every prejudice, it is endlessly reinforced by every
minor transgression, but never dispelled by any contrary anomaly.
Men believe that every woman is a whore, except his
irreproachable mother, who is, of course, a saint! And women
believe that every man is a beast, except her irreproachable
father, who is, of course, a god!
Whenever a man plots something, he always searches for the best
angles; but when a woman schemes, there are no angles ... just
No man ever assumes that what a woman says means exactly the same
thing to her as it does to him; and no woman assumes that what a
man says ever means anything to her, much less that it includes
her in its meaning.
Traditionally, little boys are colored blue and little
girls are pink. Males are conditioned to be loyally
true blue and courageously valor blue; while
pink females are characterized as blushingly
modest and fashionably bright. If reversed, the
imputations are male embarrassment, and female
depression; and if extended into adulthood, men are
florid with frustration, while women are
cyanotic from suppression. A once innocent association
with innocuous colors, which probably stemmed from a marketing
ploy, is now representative of empowerment! ...
the electric blue of men symbolizes energy, and
the hot pink of women symbolizes liberation ...
she's no longer just a girl, limited by custom and restricted to
acceptable sex roles, but has become superwoman!
... she thinks she can do it all!
Beware the vitriolic chewed cud of militant cows and malcontented
nanny goats, who utter defenses of precious brats and bleat
offenses against exploitative pornography. It may be unthinkable
to oppose both motherhood and home-cooking, both mixed-doubles
sports and duplicate latrines; but a man who detests little kids,
toy pets, model mates, and tokenism CAN'T
be ALL BAD!
If Feminism is a new religion, then stylish
fashions are their communion raiment, menstruation and lactation
are eucharistic components, abortion is their sacrament, and
complaints are their testamentary antiphon ... surely confession
is just another form of penitential gossip!
All religions differentiate the sex roles ... those with male
pantheons tend to favor men, and those with female gods tend to
favor women ... but egalitarian humanists dislike this
discrimination, with its confusing litany of inappropriate rules,
so they have idealized human perfectability, often in the form of
cheesecake and beefcake, which has eliminated
any need for gods; henceforth all the rites and rituals performed
in the here and now Paradise are directed toward our
everlasting pleasure ... or, at least, indulgence. Happy
days are here!
It's an article of faith among women that the Ideal
Man should talk to us as if we were goddesses, and treat us
as if we were children. He should refuse all our serious
requests, and gratify every one of our whims. He should encourage
us to have caprices, and forbid us to have missions. He should
always say much more than he means, and always mean much more
than he says.
Women treat men like horses ... large strong animals that can be
trained and directed, but which occasionally break into episodes
of wild turmoil that are as thrilling as they are dangerous!
Women enjoy riding horses, find them stimulating and refreshing,
but obtain complete satisfaction elsewhere ... somewhere that
doesn't reek of equine sweat or horse manure. And men treat women
like dogs ... small sleek animals that can be trained and
directed, but which occasionally snarl or snap with their sharp
fangs as thrilling reminders of their dangerous lupine past! Men
enjoy working with dogs, find their loyalty and dedication
rewarding, but obtain complete satisfaction elsewhere ...
somewhere that doesn't reek of dog hair and doggie breath, dog
slobber and doggie farts, dog doo-doo and dog's breakfast! In the
end, when the horse is swaybacked and knackered, she finds a new
mount for her galloping excursions; and when the dog is too
arthritic and enfeebled to ramble, he adopts a new puppy, bright
eyed and alert, curious and lighthearted, for their shared
Horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow.
Women don't like to talk about sex ... unless it's to criticize
the performance of their partner ... but they'd rather talk about
it than do it. Men would rather do it than talk about sex, but if
there's no opportunity to do it, then they'll talk about it
endlessly ... without criticism, because
all sex is good!
Men only talk to women so that women will have sex with them; and
women only have sex with men so that men will talk to them. Women
are usually talking when they should be acting; and men are
usually acting when they should be listening.
Men believe that they should rule the world; and women believe
that they should rule the men who rule the world.
Once women sang hymns of praise and thanksgiving for their
protected status, but now their "joyful noise unto their lord
and master" has become a chorus of chants and slogans that
"sing the body politic". Songs are now declarative
credos or mantras of converted faith. Their mottos incite
independence and inspire defiance ... except for the lyrics which
persist in preaching the commandments of love and devotion. Not
only is it difficult to discern consistent meaning from the
crosstalk noise that subordinates any theme or tune, but the
battle of the bands seek to out-perform each other with
outrageous excess. Like seductive sirens luring victims to their
destruction, baby-dolls and beauty-queens beckon frenzied chaos
by melodious contradictions. And then men serenade truth to
induce love to develop wisdom.
Wandering minstrels may croon romantic tales and itinerant
troubadours may conjure mythic ideals, but real men must also
sing their medicine songs to inspire everyone, and their war
songs to mourn the tribe's unsung heroes. Women make music to
imitate nature and cultivate their talent; but only men can chant
in harmony with thunder and lightning.
Music moves everyone. Women dance to the tune, and men dance to
A polite social fiction implies that "broadcast"
derives from 'widely thrown', but men know that as
broad-cast it's the female version of
'tossing bull' around!
Why are stories and lies called "old wives tales"? Why
is the "old boy" network considered a patriarchal
system, but the "old girl" network is a coterie or
clique, a body of whiners or a clutch of gossips? Why is
"mother of God" a profanation, but "son of God"
is an oath or prayer? Why are "son of a whore" and
"son of a bitch" such common defamations, but
"sister of satan" and "daughter of a bastard"
are unusual epithets? Why is a challenge to a woman's probity or
veracity considered insultingly 'sexist'; but the same
challenge against a man's credibility is a violation of his
'honor', an imputation of defective character? Why is a
man ugly but a woman grotesque, a man mean but a woman cruel, a
man disciplined but a woman illogical, a man proud but a woman
practical, a man thrifty but a woman stingy, a man unfaithful but
a woman promiscuous, and a man clever but a woman calculating?
Why is a woman reserved but a man timid, a woman refined but a
man weak, a woman reluctant but a man cowardly, a woman martyred
but a man incompetent, a woman nude but a man naked, a woman
brusque but a man rude, a woman mannerly but a man oafish, a
woman indelicate but a man vile, a woman gentle but a man
effeminate, a woman dotting but a man sycophantic, and a woman
conforming but a man intimidated?
Humanoid / homunculus: a form
resembling that of a human being. Human: a
ruthlessly aggressive bipedal animal of moderate lifespan and
prodigious appetites, possessed of weak senses and few natural
defenses, except creativity and toolmaking; being both wasteful
and arrogant, this transient beast aspires to divinity in both
sexes. Male human: dominant progenitor
characterized by offensive noises and coated with dirt.
Female human: subservient progenitress
characterized by offensive odors and coated with grease.
Infant human: an ugly diminutive specimen of
either sex, except noisier, smellier, and totally dependent.
Old human: a wrinkled specimen of either sex,
except superannuated and as totally dependent as the infantile
If a woman writer is an "authoress", a typecast method
actress is a "tragedienne", and a lady negotiator is a
"mediatrix", then is a female staff officer a
With the advent of women's liberation from male dominance and
oppression, the term 'wife' is no longer
politically correct or socially acceptable; so functional
approximations and euphemisms for that ambiguously uxorial
'relationship' have had to be substituted ...
including "little woman", "little lady",
"pillow pal", "cuddly companionate", "main
squeeze", "bed warmer", "sex slave",
"love connection", "sexy sidekick", "other
half", "better half", "homemaker",
"domestic partner", "house mate",
"roommate", "bed mate", "yokemate",
"life mate", "soul mate", "star-crossed
companion", "support system", "significant
other", "caregiver", "conspicuous
exception", "spousal equivalent", "mother of
our children", "partner", "trainer",
"keeper", "ol' lady",
"ball-and-chain", "she who must be obeyed" ...
obviously made alot of progress by
abbess, accoster, actress, administratrix, adulteress,
adventuress, affiance, aficionada, alderwoman, alewife,
almswoman, alumna/alumnae, amah, amazon, ambassadress,
ancestress, anchoress, anchorwoman, ancilla, androgyne, anile,
antiheroine, apron, arm-candy, assemblywoman, aunt, authoress,
aviatrix, babe, baby, baby-doll, bacchae, bacchante,
bachelorette, badger, bag, baggage, bag-lady, ball-and-chain,
ball-breaker, ballerina, balloon-smuggler, bambi, banshee, barbe,
bar-girl, barmaid, baroness, baronne, bathing-beauty,
bat-mitzvah, battle-ax, bawd, beatrice, beauty-contestant,
beaver, beetle, begum, beldam, belle, belly-dancer, benefactress,
betrothed, b-girl, biddy, bim, bimbette, bimbo, bint, bird,
birth-mother, biscuit, bit, bitch, bitch-queen, bit-o'-stuff,
blonde, blood-mother, bloomer, blue-rinser, bluestocking,
bobbysoxer, bobtail, boinkette, bondmaid, bondswoman, bonne,
boob, bosom, bottle-blond, bottom lady, bourgeoise, brahmani,
breast, bride, bridesmaid, broad, brooder, brownie, brunette,
brunhild/brünnhilde, bulldagger, bulldike, bulldyke, bun,
bunny, busgirl, businesswoman, busybody, bust, butch, cadette,
cafe-trotter, calico-queen, call-girl, camp-follower, canary,
candy-striper, canoness, cantatrice, carline, cat, chairwoman,
chambermaid, chanteuse, chaperone, charwoman, chatelaine,
cheesecake, chicana, chick, chicken, chippy, chit, chola,
chorine, chorus-girl, churchwoman, cinderella, circe, clanswoman,
cleaning-lady, clergywoman, clitty-kitty, cocotte, coed/co-ed,
coiffeuse, colleen, comedienne, come-on girl, committeewoman,
concubine, conductress, confidante, confricatrice, congresswoman,
consort, contessa, contralto, cookie, copygirl, coquette,
cotquean, cougar, councilwoman, countess, countrywoman,
courtesan, couturière, cover-girl, coverture, cow,
cowgirl, craftswoman, criolla, crone, crumpet, cunt, cutie,
cut-nose, cyprian, czarina, dairymaid, daisy, dam, dame, damsel,
dancehall-girl, danseuse, darling, daughter, deaconess,
dear/dearie, debutante, demimondaine, demimonde,
demirep/demirepute, demoiselle, den-mother, dictatress, diesel
dyke, dike, dildo-darling, dillydally, directress, dish, distaff,
diva, divorcée, doe, doll, doll-baby, dolly, dolly-bird,
dolly-mop, dominatrix, domestic, dona, donna, dotty dear,
dowager, dowdy, doxy/dachsie, doyenne, drab, drag, dragon,
dragonlady, dryad, duchess, duck, duds, duenna, dyke,
earth-mother, ecdysiast, egg, emerita, empress, enchantress,
enamorata, enlisted-woman/EW, equestrienne, escort, everywoman,
ewe, executrix, eye-candy, eyeful, fair, fair-sex, fairy,
fallen-dove, fancy, fancy-woman, fanny, farmerette, fellatrix,
fem, female, femme, femme-fatale, fere, fiancée, filly,
first-lady, fishwife, flame, flapper, flirt, floozy, flower-girl,
fluff, forelady, foremother, forewoman, fornicatrix, fortune,
fortune-huntress, fox, frail, frau, fr„ulein, freedwoman,
freemartin, fricatrice, frill, frump, fury, fussbudget, gal,
galatea, gal-Friday, gal-pal, gamine, gammer, gash, geisha,
gentle-sex, gentlewoman, giantess, Gibson-girl, giddy-girl,
giglet/giglot, gigolette, gill, gilt, girl, girl-Friday,
girlfriend, girl-guide, girlhood, girlie, girl-scout, girly,
goddaughter, goddess, godmother, gold-digger, good-time girl,
goodwife, goody, goose, gorgon, gossip, gossiper, governess,
grandam, grande-dame, grandmother, granny, grass-widow, gravida,
Gray Lady, grimalkin, gringa, griselda, grisette, groupie,
gynecoid, gypsy, hag, half-sister, handmaid, harem, harlot,
harpy, harridan, hatcheck-girl, headmistress, heart-breaker,
heiress, hellcat, hellion, hen, her, heroine, herself, hetaera,
hind, hinny, ho, homemaker, honey, honey-pot, hooker, hooter,
horsewoman, hostess, housemaid, housemother, housewife, hoyden,
hun, huntress, hurdy-gurdy girl, hussy, hustler, hypergamist,
hysteric, inamorata, incognita, ingénue, inheritrix,
instructress, iron mistress, jade, jailbait, jane, Jane Doe,
jennet, jenny, jewess/JAP, jezebel, jilt, jinniyah/jinnyah,
jo/joy, joy-girl, joy lady, jugs, juliet, junior-miss, jurywoman,
juvenile, kaiserin, kept-woman, kinswoman, knocker, kvetch, lady,
lady-bountiful, lady-in-waiting, ladykin, Lady Luck,
lady-of-the-evening, ladyship, lamia, landgravine, landlady,
lanner, lass, lassie, latina, laundress, lay, lay-sister,
laywoman, leading-lady, leopardess, lesbian, lez, lezbo, lezzie,
light-o'-love, light-of-love, lilim/lilith, limmer,
limousine-lady, lioness, lipstick, little-woman, longshorewoman,
loose-woman, love-pie, lover, madam, madame, mademoiselle,
madonna, madwoman, maenad, maid, maiden, maidenhead,
maid-in-waiting, maid-of-honor, maidservant, majorette, malkin,
ma, mama, mamma, mammy, manageress, marchioness, mare,
markswoman, marquise, masseuse, materfamilias, matriarch, matrix,
matron, matron-of-honor, maudlin/maudelen, mayoress, mediatrix,
médousa, memsahib, menstruater, mermaid, mestiza,
meter-maid, métisse, midwife, milady, milkmaid, milliner,
millionairess, minaudière, minx, miscegenater, miss, Miss
Fortune, missy, mistress, mistress-of-ceremonies, modiste, moll,
mom, mommy, moppet, morphodite, morphodyke, mother,
mother-in-law, mother superior, mouse, muchacha, mulier,
multipara, murderess, nag, naiad, nanny, needlewoman, negress,
newsgirl, newspaperwoman, newswoman, niece, nightwalker, nixie,
noblewoman, nookie, no spring chicken, nullipara, nun, nurse,
nursemaid, nut-cracker, nut-crusher, nymph, nymphet, nymphette,
nympho, nymphomaniac, odalisque / odalisk, ogress, old-girl,
ol'lady, outdoorswoman, painted-lady, panderess, pandora,
paphian, para, paramour, parlor-pro, parturient, patootie,
patrolwoman, patroness, pavement princess, peeress, pen, peri,
petite, petite-bourgeoise, petticoat, picara, piece,
piece-of-ass, pigeon, pinafore, pink-collar worker, pixie,
placket, playgirl, playmate, poetess, policewoman, pollyanna,
polyandrist, poontang, poppet, popsy, portia, portress,
postmistress, prairie-flower, premiere, première-danseuse,
preteen, priestess, prima-donna, primipara, princess, prioress,
procuress, profligate, prophetess, proprietress, pross,
prostitute, protectress, protégée, psyche,
puerpera, punch, punk, purdah, puss, puss-in-boots, pussy,
pythoness, quean, queen, quiff, quim, rani, rip, romper,
roundheels, rubster, salesgirl, saleswoman, sapphira, sapphist,
sapphomorph, scarlet-lady, schoolgirl, schoolmarm,
schoolmistress, scold, scrub, scrubwoman, scullion, sculptress,
seamstress, second sex, seductress, seeress, senhora, senhorita,
senora, senorita, sensualist, sequencer, servicewoman,
sex-kitten, shady-lady, shakti, she, sheba, she-devil, sheika,
sheila, shepherdess, shiksa, shopgirl, shopping-bag-lady,
showgirl, shrew, shrill, shrinking-violet, sibyl, sidemeat,
sidewalk-solicitor, signora, signorina, siren, sis, sissy,
sister, skag, skank, skirt, skivvy, slag, slapper, slattern,
slavey, slick, slip, slit, sloppy-joe, sloven, slut, snapper,
snatch, sob sister, soiled-dove, sola, soldier, sole, soliciteur,
solicitress, songbird, songstress, soprano, sorceress,
sororitarian, soubrette, soul-sister, sour-puss, sow, spacewoman,
sphinx, spinster, spitfire, splay, split, spokeswoman,
sportswoman, spouse, spread, spring chicken, sprite, squaw,
starlet, stateswoman, stepdame, stepdaughter, stepmother,
stepsister, stewardess, streetwalker, stripper, strip-teaser,
strumpet, stunt-woman, subdebutante, subteen, succubus,
suffragette, suffragist, sugar, sultana, super-bitch, superwoman,
surrogate-mother, sweater-girl, sweetheart, sweetie, sweetie-pie,
sybarite, sylph, tabby, tail, tainted-lady, tart, tartar/tatar,
taskmistress, tattler, taxi-dancer, taxi-date, teaser, teat,
teenybopper, temptress, termagant, testatrix, thrush, tigress,
tinderbox, tit, tittie, titty, toastmistress, tomato, tomboy,
tommy, toots/tootsie, townswoman, tradeswoman, tragedienne,
traitress, tramp, tribads/tribades, trick, trollop, trophy wife,
trot, trull, tsarina, tutrix, twat, twist, twisted sister, twit,
undine, usherette, ux, uxor, valkyrie, vamp, vampire, vane,
venus, vestal, vestal-virgin, villainess, virago, virgin,
virtuosa, viscountess, vixen, voluptuary, votaress, wahine, waif,
waiting-maid, waitress, wallflower, wanton, war-bride, wardress,
washerwoman, wayward, wench, wet-nurse, whistle bait,
white-slave, whore, widow, wife, wimmin, witch, woman, womanhood,
woman-of-the-world, women, womenfolk, womyn, working-girl,
workingwoman, workwoman, wyf/wif, xanthippe, yachtswoman, yenta,
yogini, yoni, zaftig, zenana.
Billy, Buck, Charlie, Chubby, Chuck, Dick, Eric/Erik, Felix,
Frank, Guy, Harry, Jack, Jake, Jimmy, Jock, Joe, Joey, John,
Johnson, Lance, Mark, Mickey, Oscar, Peter, Randy, Rod, Roger,
Roscoe, Sam, Tom, Willie, Winnie/Wienie, Woody.
First they name us, and they claim us, then they shame us and
they blame us. After aiming and complaining all those years, they
eventually out-live us! If egalitarianism was a true motive, then
feminists would be petitioning for an "equality of insurance
premium rates" so everyone's payments will be
fair and unbiased. It's always
acceptable to handicap men, but never permissible to off-set
women as compensation.
Most women won't admit their age; and most men won't act their
The male age cycle progresses as at 20 he's young, at 40 he's
middle-aged, at 60 he's old, and at 80 he's dead. The female age
cycle progresses as at 15 she's young, at 30 she's available, at
45 she's experienced, at 60 she's mature, at 75 she's older, and
at 90 she's still clawing at life! The fact that her sex drive is
maximized when her seed withers only compounds or contradicts her
longevity ... fruitless for twice as long as she's fertile, while
he is potent to the end.
Women can bestow their favors whether aroused or not, while a
man's libido must direct his automatic physiological responses,
such that men are sexually regulated by inverse esteem.
A woman will have sex if she feels good about herself or if she
detests herself, with the former being a proof of her beauty or
allure, and the latter being proof of her unattractiveness or
unworthiness. Unlike a woman's charity or
grudge fucks, a man's penis is a reliable
barometer of his emotions ... if depressed or dejected, he cannot
perform, and that failure usually compounds and complicates his
cycle of decline. So while the feminist mantra avers the primacy
of female gratification, the best way for a woman to satisfy
herself is to satisfy her man.
The basic difference between the sexes is that men put their
furnace in the basement, while women put their furnace in the
attic; and the thermostats are too distant to regulate the
temperatures. With "cold hands, warm heart", a feminist
needs a solar-collector to warm her frigid heart, and a macho-man
needs an iced-beverage to chill his aggressive clutches; but real
people keep their thermostats out of their stomachs, out of their
genitals, out of their hearts, out of their rectums, and inside
of their heads!
There is a romantic myth that love is selective, that "every
pot has its lid", that couples are eternally matched by
cosmic omniscience; but the truth is that love will flourish
wherever it's nourished, and opportunistic sex needs no
cultivation at all. While brutish exploiters of fair and dowdy
innocents exercise their double-standards, by being
companions, consorts, suitors, escorts, gallants, walkers,
cicisbeos, lovers, paramours, gigolos, deflowers, and despoilers,
the fair-sex accepts courting, wooing, and rushing attentions in
order to bestow her cherished favors upon Mr Right or
Mr Goodbar. The gentle-sex dreams on Saint Agnes's
Eve, with their concealing step-ins, confining bloomers,
revealing undies, delicious scanties, hot-panties, of their
proper role in the sewing-circle, quilting-bee, hen-party, harem,
zenana, purdah. The resulting accommodation is a compromise that
functions in its context: monogamy, bigamy, polygamy, polygyny,
polyandry, miscegenation, intermarriage, concubinage. Like her
vagina, her morality stretches or constricts to fit her need.
Bigamy is defined as having one wife too many ... and so is
monogamy. The punishment for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law!
A marriage is the state or condition of an incompatible community
consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in
all, two. We brand unmarried women with the title of
Miss to indicate that they are in the market.
Miss, Missis, and Misster are the
three most distinctly disagreeable words in our language, in
sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the
other of Master. If we must have them, let us be
consistent and give one to the unmarried man. We venture to
suggest Mush, for its plastic and insipid
A man can't describe his wife to somebody else unless he dislikes
her, since there's nothing like enmity to make a character appear
vivid. But the very things in a woman that make a man love her
escape language. Women seem able to recognize with perfect candor
the flaws in the man they love, but men lack this ability. A man
can describe the finest points of a dozen women and they are
indistinguishable. A man can describe his ideal woman and she is
embodied by each woman of his affections. Contrarily, a woman's
ideal will remain ethereal and insubstantial. The manifestations
of a woman's affections will be unrecognizable in their presumed
commonality, but similar in their deviation.
Girls always get the first lick on life's lollipop, and boys are
always the suckers! Women don't want a husband with an odometer
on his zipper or a calculator in his heart ... they want
Mr Fix-It and Mr Mom, the
Golden Goose and the White
Knight combined into one perfect spouse. Men would be
entirely satisfied to marry a woman who owns a topless bar, whose
father owns a sporting goods store, whose mother owns a pawn
shop, whose uncle owns a car dealership, and whose aunt owns a
restaurant ... men aren't hard to please!
The basic difference between men and women is that a woman wants
one man to satisfy her every need, while a man wants every woman
to satisfy his one need!
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first
husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his
first wife. Women try their luck; men risk their's.
Men usually marry because they're tired of resisting the
seductions against their reason and vigilance; women because
they're curious ... and when they're both disappointed, they
often try again, and again. For a man to remain single is an
afront to womankind, who perceive him as an attractive
nuisance of potential harm, or of permanent public
Women are only dangerous to the men who adore them, while men are
dangerous to themselves!
Society has regulated the privilege of potentially hazardous
activities, such as driving and hunting, by requiring training
and permits; so while men could care less about registering a
dangerous firearm, they will meekly comply with the requirement
for a marriage license ... so she can regulate cohabitation and
permit intimacy. No wonder the male credo is "I'd rather be
Marriage is supposed to be a young couple's promise and an older
couple's comfort; but it is actually a young woman's triumph and
an older woman's glory, a young man's disaster and an older man's
By all means, men should marry ... if he gets a good wife, then
he'll be happy; and if he gets a bad wife, then he'll become
The potential for a perfect marriage ended with Adam and Eve ...
since he didn't have to hear about all the other men she might
have wed, and she didn't have to hear about how well his mother
Women are just like roadway traffic signs ... not just
SOFT SHOULDER and CURVES AHEAD,
but also REDUCE SPEED and
YIELD, STOP and DO NOT
ENTER, WILD ANIMAL CROSSING and
ONE WAY ONLY. License penalties and restrictions
When a woman encounters an untamed beast in its natural habitat,
she's immediately aware of its suitability and presence; she
knows that it belongs in the wilderness, and was aware of her
long before she became aware of it. If the encounter is near
enough to alarm or frighten her, she'll be thrilled by the
portent and potentiality inherent within that confrontation. If
she feels unthreatened, she will have leisure to admire its
magnificent characteristics. She'll be stimulated by its power
and prestige. Its inhuman brutishness will make her feel weak and
vulnerable, and she'll yearn for the psychic comforts of familial
protection and societal defenses, be they organizational or
technological. And when the beast departs, perhaps in pursuit of
other prey, she will feel much more secure, even if a little less
intensely alive. Although she is impressed, and even titillated,
by such an attractive beast, she will abjure and repudiate
the very same traits in a man! ...
he must be civilized to win her
When a boss discharges his employee mistress, other women think
it's an injustice, and other men think that justice has finally
happened, albeit for the wrong crime.
Women enter the professions in pursuit of
the cult of pure womanhood. They don't acquire
professional status to extend their essential natures or to
augment their basic nurturing, but, as alleged by
sexual-displacement theory, to enhance their symbolic carnivorous
consumption and to acquire surrogate scepter. This is not the
crude sexual frustration of lonely women substituting compliant
dildos for absent penises in their hungry wombs, or the
castrating temptress using her feeding nether orifice to chew
along the hierarchal food-chain of influence. Rather, more in the
sense of penis-envy, these brittle maws seek to violate the
integral integument of others; as in a parody of rape, to enter
the secret spaces of another's privacy, to willfully insert
ideas, to arrogantly thrust concepts, to violently penetrate into
resistant areas as justified reciprocity or warranted recompense
for all their suffering. For the indignity of having been born
female, for all of the bloody corruptions that they've endured,
for all the psychic pain and mental abuse, they're eager to
do unto men what men have done unto them! They seek power as
a blunt instrument to bludgeon society into a new and terrible
matriarchy, where femininity is only another option, and
masculinity is only a necessary function.
It probably has a Freudian explanation that's beside the point,
but the overwhelming majority of little girls who've been abused
as children tend to grow up to abuse and degrade themselves, and
the overwhelming majority of little boys who've been abused as
children tend to grow up to abuse and degrade others. Given the
multiplication effect of human reproduction, and the fact that
even someone's deepest darkest secret will eventually
reveal itself, is there any wonder that the putrid cesspool
laughingly known as sophisticated society is becoming
more obnoxious and pervasive?!
Women claim that they are frightened and intimidated by masculine
violence, and so must resort to stratagem and subterfuge as
defense mechanisms; but women are cruel, leaving men bewildered
and bemused, and pathetically defenseless. As with the male's
spasmodic sexuality, men's violence is episodic, while women's
hardhearted imposture is relentless. A man will use his greater
strength to build a shelter and provide for his family, while a
woman will sulkily complain and snappishly criticize and
peevishly carp until there's no harmony in the home. A man will
smash but a woman will grind ... no wonder he wants to forgo
posterity by pulling the roof down upon her mean little head!
Men tend to organize in a consistent and coherent manner, based
upon some logical system, and make adjustments to reinforce or
restore that system. Women administer in a disintegrated and
stochastic manner, based upon the presumption from child-rearing
that everything will be interrupted before completion or will
become chaotic before fruition. The male model presumes the
imposition of some type of functional discipline; while the
female model presumes dysfunction, indiscipline, and
inconsistency. Females can imitate and thus replicate male
standards, but all feminine professions are based upon
artful guile and imaginative manipulation, upon willful
distraction and subtle diversion, upon revisionist definition and
sympathetic reinterpretation. That many women beat men at their
own game is due to inattention and under-estimation, to jealousy
and rivalry, to chivalry and co-optation. Only women can turn
their demonstrable sexuality into a profession, while men are
required to manifest qualifying skills.
Women are liars ... everything they do and say, from exaggerated
experiences and overblown ideas to artificial manners and
costumed adornment, is some sort of fabrication or distortion.
Women claim that their many deceits are a necessity to cope with
masculine dominance, and yet they claim that men are more
straight-forward only because they're bad liars. And women wonder
why men are so disregarding and dismissive, so insensitive and
intolerant, so overbearing and aggressive ... maybe men wouldn't
be such if women weren't so immature, so incompetent, and so
Women always get into trouble whenever they try to think like
men; and men always get into trouble whenever they
don't try to think like women!
Women are offended by men acting like they own the whole
world ... even when they really do! ... so men try to
appease them by indulging their influence, which is fulsomely
praised. Men are offended by women acting like they know
better ... even when they really do! ... so women try to
appease them by indulging their willfulness, which is courteously
Men like to play the game, but women like to keep score.
Women always want to win, while men just want their opponent to
lose. Everybody knows how the game ends, but nobody agrees
whether it was fair.
Poker game rules are royally flushed straight when female logic
determines that an autonomous one-of-a-kind is psychosocially
better than four-of-a-kind, and when male logic determines that
two-pairs are morally superior to a perverse full-house!
Being women unsuited for conventional competition, feminists
aspire to emulate masculine traits as a synthetic symbol of
genuine achievement ... such as smoking, drinking, cursing, and
standing to micturate, so as to avoid the 'indignity' of
the natural posture which has the virtue of not filling their own
shoes with urine! Modern men and old-fashioned women are the only
ones who ever blush anymore.
In general, men seem to be so uncivilized at first meeting
because they are so forthright and bizarre, but after longer
association, their predictable crudity and baser instincts make
them seem almost normal ... something like a
housebroken beast. By contrast, almost all women
tractable and amenable at first meeting, with their superficial
differences lending a touch of piquant exoticism to their
delicate acculturation, but after longer association, their
inexplicable unpredictability and vicious jealousy make them seem
terribly abnormal ... no one to be trusted behind a
man's back or vested with child rearing.
There can be no respect between the sexes, no mutual dignity
based upon innocence or intimacy, no aloof autonomy or abstract
authority derived from disciplined conditioning or inculcated
courtesy, no recognition without awareness since each recognizes
the vulnerability of stark nakedness in the miserably
cold light of truth. The significance of the shameful expulsion
from the Garden of Eden is not the sheer
revelation of nudity, but the unlovely
fact of our insatiable ambition to be other
than imperfect and mortal!
Because women never snore, belch, or fart, they
absolutely need to bitch, or else they'll
explode! Because men, with their savage appetites and crude
manners, already lack restraint in these areas, they insist that
their glands must be milked to prevent their brains from
The sexual-orientation of the contents of a body-bag is
immaterial, but women should not be in combat
ONLY because they cannot follow orders ... they
must either question or argue! ... even during horizontal
drill and ceremonies. Men should not be nurturing homemakers
because they are too aggressive and orderly, too compulsive and
intolerant to convert a dwelling into a home ... they
don't project warmth, comfort, cheer, or style. Too many men are
sex-linked color-blind! ... a brown meal in a brown house looks
too much like the final egested product of infantile fixation.
Before women were granted the authority to interfere in military
affairs, wars were relatively simple interactions where men tried
to best other men by various means, despite the stupidity of
remote leaders, the incompetence of appointed leaders, and the
cowardice of draftees ... it was a brutal business relieved only
by its infrequency. Then women, manumitted by some weak-minded
fools, jealous of their exclusion and envious of the associated
pomp, sought "full participation" in this strange
something for which they had no understanding and even less
aptitude ... but because the girls wanted to
play with the boys in this rough game and
earn the same prestige, they were indulged. Training was
diminished, technology substituted for authenticity, and
successes were exaggerated ... the powder puff team
sallied forth to victory, if not conquest. Of course, all the
uniforms had to be redesigned, makeup (camouflage or otherwise)
became mandatory, and operation plans became fickle indulgences
... where embed photographers or journalists once accompanied
every small unit, they were now escorted by astrologers and
gynecologists to ensure their emotional fitness for
battle! Women's liberation in the armed forces has jeopardized
every engagement since its inception, compromised the military
strength of the national defense, impugned national preeminence,
and bankrupt the national debt! ... okay, unfettered women have
proved that they can be as incompetent and useless as men, so now
will somebody please take away their credit
cards and sequester them in the kitchen or bedroom or nursery?!
After some extensive analysis, it has been discovered that a
woman's gait changes in concert with her menstrual cycle, being
the most provocative when she's most susceptible to
fertilization, and least demonstrative when she's actually
menstruating. It therefore comes as no great surprise (except to
scholars wasting grant money) that the style of a woman's walk
serves as a signal of her sexual availability. Researchers have
not bothered to study the different gaits of men because they're
so obvious: he's tired or energized, he's hurt or healthy, he's
weak or strong. Asking a man why he's limping or staggering is
never as interesting as asking a woman if she's ready to have
Boys learn to stand hip-shot and walk with their hips thrust
aggressively forward; while girls imitate backward tilting hips.
Young men walk bow-legged due to embarrassment about enlarged or
protruding genitals; and old men persist so as to accommodate a
swollen prostate. Young women are pigeon-toed out of shyness over
bodily development; and mature women persist so as to advertise
their secondary sexual characteristics. Women 'wiggle'
to enhance excitation, and men 'waddle' to cope with
Mismatched emotional relations between the sexes:
Women don't have many defenses, but they are used so often and so
variously that they seems superfluous. Women prefer indirect
offenses because they favor defensive conversions and strategic
reversals or retreats, with the objective of surviving to fight
another battle at a later day. Men have few defenses, which are
mostly ineffectual because they're not practiced; but men also
have few offenses, which are direct and efficient. While women
use their weakness as a weapon, men are strong enough to survive,
and soft enough to make survival meaningful.
It's not the explicit act of sexual encounter which
defines "rape" ... but rather it's the lack of consent
or the denial of permission ... as evidenced by the gross
disparity of claims of sexual assault between the sexes. Even the
instances of reported "statutory rape" are skewed and
biased by interpretation. A young boy is introduced or educated
about the wonders of physical love, but little girls are
prematurely abused and insensitively ruined by indecent or
abnormal contact. Every survivor of sexual assault reports that
any touch is offensive until new bonds of trust
can be mutually established beyond protective self-defense. The
simple fact is that women can run faster with their skirts up
than men can run with their pants down!
Rape is, according to men, the crime of
trespassing upon another man's property, and, according to women,
the crime of being violated when they are not interested; it is,
in short, the offense of indiscipline ... of
wanting what one cannot have, of taking what one should not have,
of responding to an allure that is withdrawn or prohibited, of
being seduced beyond restraint, of getting an erection at the
wrong time. The woman wants to be sexy and her
men want her to be admired, but not that much, not
that way! It doesn't matter if she's too young or
too old for childbearing because she's supposed to be perpetually
attractive. Putting a lock on a man's groin is the same as
enslaving his brain or his heart or his tongue ... it's part of
his cultural maturation to learn when the switch can be flipped
on or off. If he doesn't learn, then he's a brute or
beast; but no woman is ever held to the same standard of
self control, of self restraint, of self discipline. That's why
everyone says that rape isn't about sex
but about power! ... it's all about
power, and she knows it.
A marriage of convenience is more inconvenient than
either concubinage or polygyny ... and almost as stupid as an
uncommitted affair. Unlike lying and stealing, rape and murder,
incest is universally condemned in one form or another;
so whoever defined the obligation for endogamous protection and
exogamous license, thus ensuring cross-fertilization of the gene
pool, not only saved humanity from imbecilic extinction, but also
introduced the concept of sport into the marriage game!
... the only problem is that it's not evolved far enough to
become a true blood sport. There would be a
bounty on them if they didn't occasionally give
necessary service and pleasure!
Women don't know what they want, and they don't like what they
get. Men know very well what they want, but become disinterested
after they get it. Men usually want friendly sex that's
uncomplicated by emotion or obligation. Women most often want
emotional obligation that's uncomplicated by sex or friendship.
Many formal religions mandate marital counseling and instruction,
but women have been attending their own bride's school
for generations ... often mothers instructing daughters, but
frequently collective coteries form a class for mutual benefit.
The subjects include how to convert the stupid acts of love into
credits toward more useful goals, how to instill guilt and
compliant remorse, how to deal and trade to get the upper-hand or
controlling interest, how to cooperate in the advantageous art of
seduction, and how to bargain economically for feminine rewards.
The bridal shower is a token of graduation, with the promise of
more gifts to come.
Like specious syllogisms with fallacious elements, each marriage
partner represents, and is thus responsible for, all other
members of their sexual division of the species; and so contests
and conflicts, patterns and particulars, excuses and exceptions
are individually negotiated for the race. Only one person in the
marriage needs to be sane at any given time, so they can take
turns recovering their partner from the extreme edge of context
and rescuing each other's perspective. The only complication is
that, as with strangers, the necessary levels of care change from
situation to circumstance, from period to interval, and the
successful coping mechanisms are discrete to each type, so the
probability of sustained accomplishment diminishes with accrued
motivation. Unlike most experiential phenomena, no one acquires
mastery with more practice.
Men and women regard each other as if they were elephants. Men
like to look at women, but don't want the responsibility for
their elephantine appetites. Women automatically seek to be in
control of all that bull elephant power, but then discover the
curse of owning a white elephant.
A man simply wants his woman to become a part of his life, while
a woman wants her man to, or be willing to, simply sacrifice
himself for her life!
Women always want more from men than they can get; and men always
get more from women than they want!
Divorced men tend to remain emotionally attached to their former
spouse, which may involve extending consideration and affection
to their erstwhile partner. The liberated whilom wife tends to be
more tolerant and considerate toward the uxorious husband who no
longer shares her life than she ever permitted during their
mutual bondage. The quondam quagmire confronting post-modern
couples is how to inject this civility and love into the
relationship while it's still viable! ... because even since
ancient times, Eve has displaced Lilith (characterized as a
female demon) as Adam's only true wife, and notice the trouble
she brought into the Garden of Eden! Humanity was spawned from a
broken home, and choosing sides has never helped or
Just as adultery was traditionally punished by disfigurement so
disloyalty could not be concealed from public disgrace, so the
ancient ritual of divorce seeks to shame the incapacity or
incompatibility of the sundered marriage. The word 'divorce' is
derived from the archaic practice of ripping-off a man's genitals
through his wallet!
The modern fashion in experimental sex games is alleged to be
either an essential reaction against the unwarranted imposition
of doctrinaire dictates, or a necessary response to the
inevitable boredom of monogamous fidelity; so when these
pleasure-seeking libertines discover that they did not
invent sex! ... that ancient and primitive peoples also
engaged in many of these same sex acts, it is initially
startling, and then refreshingly reinforcing to them: "Well
if they did it too, then
it must be okay!" ... as their lurid
sex-drives triumph over the pathetic defenses of their guilty
consciences! These dissipated debauchees abhor chastity so much
that they project their corruption onto everyone else ... from
accusing the innocent of impure thoughts to exposing the private
vices of consenting adults ... it's all tainted grist in their
evil mill! What's ironic is that the truth is actually more
interesting, and could be [mis-]construed as feminist evidence.
Far from being the sensual indulgence of voluptuary hedonists,
wife-swapping seems to have originated in various tribes as a
social convention that attempted to guarantee the survival of the
greatest number of childbearing women and their offspring by the
informal adoption of the companion wife and her family by the
occasional sex partner in the event that the companion husband
and breadwinner dies prematurely. This contractual arrangement,
secured by the periodic (ritualistically mandated at quarterly or
annual engagements) exchange of sexual favors, prevented
destitution, and assured transition without additional crisis
subsequent to a breadwinner's demise. Although the men were
ostensibly in charge of this arrangement, initiating sexual
overtures and assuming responsibility for the support of a
secondary wife or family, the approval of the arrangement was
dependent upon the agreement of the women! ... who basically
pre-selected the companion for her husband, since the wives, as
survivors, would have more interaction than the occasional
couples ever did. Although modern profligates would prefer a more
lubricious account, human relations originated as social
institutions that protected and preserved the race ... that
wife-swapping and other forms of disloyalty have been re-invented
in the current deconstructive era as an expression of
self-indulgence only contributes to our post-modern extinction.
Just as nobody can know how a well-made pair of shoes will pinch
until they're actually worn, so it is with discovering the
deficiencies of properly endowed and suitably functional wives by
their ignorant husbands ... until it is too late!
Whenever a woman decides that a man is vital to her life, it's
considered to be an addiction; but whenever a man draws
the same conclusion, it's considered to be a common
sense acknowledgement of reality.
Man's love is a trap, but woman's love is a
burden. Men and women have so little in common with each
other that love is the only thing that
they can share ... and it's the only thing that will
allow them to share at all.
Relations between men and women are supposed to be about
love ... or at least friendship and companionship ...
but the most important thing for men is respect,
which will even be accepted when it's faked; and the most
important thing for women is not being offended,
which will even be accepted when it's faked. Honor, courtesy, and
love are indispensable illusions.
Women want a commitment from men before they'll reciprocate by
returning loyalty to them; and men want loyalty from women before
they'll reciprocate by returning a commitment to them ... it's
this eternal impasse that makes the Leap of Faith so
Chastity and fidelity are womanish hoaxes perpetrated upon male
physiology ... young men want to be faithful, but cannot subdue
their natural responses; and old men want to be unfaithful, but
cannot overcome their natural responses! The loyalty contest
bespeaks a failure of imagination, a failure of opportunity, a
failure of courage to actively explore the vast variety of
uncharted conquests. After the initial infidelity, the frequency
of intimacy is immaterial to females ... one more (or less)
douche-bag really doesn't matter.
Unless men precipitate the break-up, they are surprised by a
woman's decision to separate; and women resent men's ignorance,
because they believe a man should be more sensitive and aware.
Contrarily, women are never surprised by a man's inconstancy or
infidelity, because they know how easily men are manipulated ...
despite suspicions, what usually surprises them is
who, among their traitorous accomplices,
steals their deceptive commitment.
Women believe that loving a man limits and inhibits them; while
men believe that loving a woman enables their possibilities and
expands their potential.
Men act strong so that others will be unafraid, and they act
unafraid so that others will be strong; but women act weak so
that others will give them an advantage, and they act fearful so
that no one will know that their advantages are sufficient.
What a woman won't do for money, she'll do out of fear; and what
fear can't make a man do, he will do out of love.
Men are more foolish than villainous, but would rather be thought
otherwise; while women are more villainous than foolish, but
would rather be thought otherwise.
Women believe that men are a necessary evil, that men
can be induced to perform essential functions and render
appropriate services, but are annoying interferences when women
are not in the mood to be distracted or comforted, sheltered or
pampered, rescued or worshipped. Men, on the other hand, believe
that they are the dominant beasts in the zoological parks
wrenched from the wilderness kingdom of an unsympathetic natural
selection, and that survival of the species is contingent upon
their relentless talents. In consequence, men expect a modicum of
appreciation from their dependent women and children, based upon
the power that radiates from successful men. Men
trade on the presumption of manifest power, in
the same way that women trade on the assumption of idealized
and perfectible sexuality ... most men have it, while a few
must pretend; but only a few women have it, so most must pretend!
All men are happy in the same way, but each woman has been made
miserable in different ways. Her desperation in confronting the
infinite variations of the "good spouse" compels the
creation of plastic purgatories and insipid perditions. Each
woman is happy in her own special way, but she knows that it
won't last ... some unhappy man will surely ruin it in short
order, because all men are miserable in the same way, so it
must be some woman's fault!
Wedlock is the solemn rite which unifies a couple, and prescribes
them as a single legal entity: the husband.
Marital bonds have evolved into binding marital contracts, which
have become martial combats! Spite is inversely proportional to
the level of TLC rendered from spousal betrayal, and convertible
to the apportioned settlement morganatically excised from
commonwealth by paternalistic litigation. In the bad old
days, the basis for severing the plighted troth was
adultery, bigamy, desertion, impotence, imposition of personal
indignity, cruelty, drunkenness, infamous or felonious
conviction, but has evolved into a no fault quagmire
with a Solomonic partition of the spoils. Digamous divorce courts
should accept the sacred oath, "...until death do us
part...", as a valid instrument of assignment for relational
resolution. Henceforth, when 'marital' becomes
'martial', let the winner take all, and may the
best man win!
In the eternal war between the sexes, where mating games are the
conjugal front-lines of combat, and the nuptial fighting
commences as soon as the bells ring and the knots are tied, every
nubile maiden, intent upon exchanging her née name and
for the prize of a husband's estate, intends to espouse
hypergamy. Every gold-digging hetaera is patrolling for a
sugar-daddy to convert her trousseau into bountiful
jointure and respectable legacy. Matrimony is the flanking
maneuver which invalidates the salic law, while converting a
dowry into a fortified coverture and a tocher into unassailable
paraphernalia. Every veteran knows why connubial contentions are
known as mortal wedlock.
Women would like to have the wedding ring without the man; and
men would like to have the woman without the wedding ring ...
alas, even when they get what they want, they don't want what
Men don't stand a chance when disputing the selfish inflictions
of self-righteous women. Both parties attribute logic and
principle to their declarations; but men are simplistically
straight forward, while women are oblique, convoluted, and
tangential in their debate. Each party accuses the other of
missing the point, of temporal irrelevance, or of being
unrealistic, while the other contrarily seizes the opposite
proposition. Because women argue from the convictions of
ignorance, and contest from the certitudes of hypothesis, men
will always lose any trial that impugns
Men resent women for their trivial preoccupations, while women
resent men for making them aware of their trivial preoccupations
when they wish to be otherwise ... when they wish them to be
Women believe that men are confused by verbiage, since they seem
to be limited to gestures and symbols in their pathetic attempts
at communication, while men believe that thoughtful anticipation
and reflection are prerequisites for communication ... that words
should be prefaced by insightful ideas and expressions separated
by silent musings.
Women always have the last word in every
argument, even if it's non-verbal. Anything that a man says
afterwards is the beginning of a new argument.
Women save their wedding-dress so they can prove just how much
marriage has changed them for the worse! Men rent their
wedding-apparel because they don't want to be reminded of the
formalities imposed as a preliminary to regular sexual congress.
The bogus giveaway of premium values begins with
the father of the bride, extends to wedding presents that cannot
be returned, and concludes with a throwaway
relationship. Anyone who marries for financial gain or
acquisitive security pays for their decision
many times over ... and over again.
Is there a difference between a "bride-price" and a
"stud-fee"? ... between a gigolo and a whore? ...
between wet-nursing and patronage? ... between "living
in sin" and "living on
Marriage is the triumph of love over reason. Divorce is the
triumph of vengeance over compassion. Re-marriage is the triumph
of hope over experience.
Taking vengeance on a woman is wasted, because they're their own
worst enemy. Man is born of woman, but only a fool returns to the
womb to die. If a man doesn't take pleasure from a woman, then
she'll give him pain.
Men tend to go for new wine in old bottles, and
women tend to go for old wine in new bottles,
and so it goes for sex, love, marriage, politics, and economics.
Only connoisseurs prefer antique authenticity, and only novices
prefer the unknown novelty ... and they don't matter to the
The best way for a woman to get over a man is to get
under another man! ... and the best way for a man to get
next to a woman is to get next to as many women as possible!
Every normal woman needs to marry, but no man ever should;
because it is unreasonable for a man to make one woman miserable,
when he can make so many others happy.
Does nymphomania or satyriasis generate more lustful and lurid
heat? Is lascivious prurience sex-linked? Is lecherous iniquity
gender-based? ... and will they remain discrete (if not already
indiscreet), or shall they coalesce? ... or will everyone remain
If a woman's orgasm can be analogized to 'fire', in that
it may spontaneously combust into a fearsome firestorm, or
suffocate in the absence of appropriate fuel, or smokily choke
from improper circumstantial mixtures, or fail to ignite her
tinderbox full of lavish resources for lack of a spark, but
always requiring precise conditions and specific elements; then
men may be analogized to either arsonists or
firefighters, depending upon their techniques.
Because women fake orgasms, men retaliate by faking
Men fake foreplay to engage genuine family jewels; so Catholic
women have real orgasms with fake jewelry, and Jewish women have
fake orgasms with real jewelry.
The rooster says: cock-a-doodle-do!, and the hen says:
Men with callused hands and rough minds attract women with
callused knees and rough tales ... and they both have scarred
Women believe they have an innate, if not a divine, right to
everything they want. It is the magic of their
sexuality, which conveys or bestows anything they desire upon
them without any more compensation, than the necessary tolerance
of the opposite sex, who willingly sacrifice on
their behalf. Men have always had to pay their dues so
as to earn whatever is wanted most. Female teleology entails men
as the essential conduit for deserved treasures, whether vital or
cosmic or otherwise.
A successful man is someone who makes more money
than his wife can spend. A successful woman is someone
who marries a successful man.
A woman always worries about the future ... until she gets a
husband. A man never worries about the future ... until he gets a
In any assessment of worth, there must be a consideration of
relative values, which, when evaluating the assets of men and
women usually degenerates from arguments over birth-rights to
ad-hominem attacks. Contrasts of style or poise, status or power,
intellect or wealth, appearance or physique, shortly devolve into
procreative prowess, sexual performance, or the size of breast
and penis, until epithets are bandied ... limp-dick versus
titless-wonder, mushroom-nub versus sagging-bag. Her heart is
alleged to be colder than a witch's tit in a brass-bra, while his
blood is colder than a eunuch's balls in a brass-codpiece. The
petty barrage of childish taunts eventually scar the edifice to
the point that the persona is impaired or dysfunctional; thus
reinforcing the rules of evaluation. The ability to endure
punishment is far more important than dispensing it.
Have you noticed that all the coins that feature busts of
prominent women are all of the higher denominations? The only
difference between money and honey is
the initial letter ... representing men and
husband respectively. Alimony is just alot of moaning
about money ... when it ought to be an alibi for mourning.
A man will over-tip to make an impression or under-tip to make a
statement, but a woman will tip exactly to express economical
money-management or will over-tip to express solidarity. If a man
throws-down money and abandons a woman at their table, she will
ignore his financial contempt and concentrate on his rude
departure. If a man casts-down money and leaves another man at
their table, the man will recompute the check and pocket the
difference in retaliation. If a woman pays and departs, the other
women will share the compromise; but a man will add to the total
sum before following.
Never get your meat and your bread at the same
place; and never foul the nest where you sleep. Men are the
bread-winners, but women knead it.
Unlike men, who're represented by their vocations, women are
defined by their fragility, by their uselessness, by their
self-absorption. Women risk degradation and vilification each
they attempt to prove competence; but enhance their allure every
time their helplessness or intuition is validated. Whenever a
precocious or meddling woman is restrained for her own good, her
whimsical defiance is indulged as another manifestation of her
immaturity, her incapacity, her ineptitude. She knows that
everything must be done to accommodate her, because without the
promise from her Womb of Time, then all the legacies
nested into the Tomb of Time are hopeless dreams.
The sex-linked role models endemic to each culture are satisfying
opportunities for martyrdom, such that when the
passive-aggressive woman confronts the super aggressive man, they
can each play out the character designated for them by their
society ... each obliged to suffer expectations not of their
choosing. So when the feminist adopts the novel new shtick of
hyper-aggressive ball-busting bitch, they unwisely anticipate a
complementary role-reversal from men, whom they imagine are
anxious to adopt the posture of a cowed follower submissive to
new leadership, but are surprised ... even
amazed ... by the escalation of masculine
aggressivity into stubborn resistance and maddened violence! ...
well, what did they expect would happen when the playscript gets
changed in the middle of the performance?! Traditions exist for a
As exhibited most overtly in love and revenge,
women are much more barbaric than men in venting their emotions
... soldiers on the battlefield would rather commit suicide than
suffer the tortures of native women who've recently lost a loved
one in combat!
Women tend to prefer the subjectivity of a dynamic relationship,
as with family and friends; while men tend to prefer abstraction
and objectivity, as with measurements and achievements. Men tend
to compensate for this structural rigidity by relaxing in the
outdoors, where human rules are meaningless; while women tend to
compensate for their irrational relations by relaxing indoors,
where they can impose their personal style as an expression of
constrained or disciplined free will within a defined rigid
structure. In other words, men make boxes so they can enjoy
themselves beyond the limits of the box; and women make confusion
so it can be enclosed in a box. The artificiality of the box
allows women to control their innate fear of the unknown, which
would become panic if loosed outside on the world at large. If
men did not delimit their boundaries, women would go insane
trying to decorate and beautify the whole country!
In hypothetical role-reversal games, most women would like to be
less sensitive and more aggressive, more domineering and
ruthless. Because women perceive men as irresponsible, they would
gladly exchange all of their domestic chores for the (denied)
onerous executive obligations enjoyed by men. Men, on the other
side, usually don't seek a change in personality or status. Men
most often desire interpersonal permission to act out of
character; and their greatest ambition is to be excused from
all of their burdensome responsibilities. Men are usually willing
to forsake a lifelong vocation or promotion for deeper personal
relationships; but women usually believe that love is not enough
when a family has denied them a satisfying career or gratifying
achievements. If roles were reversed, then women would be
tyrants, and men would be whores ... or, in other words, nothing
essential would change, except who's on top.
Women declare that they sleep to recover from their horrendously
toilsome chores, and to escape from their enormously stressful
superhuman efforts, into a delightful dream world of luxurious
fantasies; but that men only sleep because they're lazy. Men
declare the exact opposite.
In ritual anthropophagy, the acquired magic serves a social
function which must be kept in balance for cultural norms to
persist. Following a natural death in New Guinea, as part of the
obsequies and as an expression of mourning, women of a
cannibalistic tribe devour the body of the deceased man, and
acquire his spiritual powers by this act. The male relatives then
give each woman pieces of animal flesh corresponding to the parts
of the man that they just ate, which permits the captured spirit
to be released into the world, and withdraws the male-power from
the women. This cycle of spectral men rehabilitating eminent
women restores and reinforces the roles by re-establishing normal
Women like to think that they are solely interested in life and
love, while men are only interested in death and hate; but men
know that each has its fascinations, and that women use men to
explore their fears ... something they'd be too frightened to do
Those formal terpsichorean rituals, which comprise part of the
courtship promenade, are just a public exhibition of foreplay,
because dancing is simply the vertical expression of some
horizontal desires. With some people, this driving passion
entirely substitutes for what cannot be expressed or enacted in
any other way.
Women have more euphemisms for intimate relationships than Arabs
have words for sand; and men have more dysphemisms for sexual
intercourse than Eskimos have words for snow!
If "fuck" is a bad word but not a bad thing, and
"rape" is a bad thing but not a bad word, then why is
'man' both and 'woman'
When men refuse to communicate, they remain essentially human by
giving the impression that they would share anything with anyone
given the proper inducement, but lacking such, they must decline
their cooperation. When women refuse to communicate, they remain
essentially perverse by giving the impression that they would
share anything with anyone if they so desired, but lacking such
desire, they must decline their cooperation.
The derivations of 'hysterical' and 'cunning' makes us wonder if
the root of 'hostile' is "host", so then "coy" is probably the
root of 'coyote'. The sisterhood's unanimity and empathy extends
to non-verbal communications, wherein a sympathetic look or
compassionate pose can say it all! Attempting to
redefine 'history' as "herstory" only displays
their ignorant prejudice for justified ridicule. Men also
practice a universal language, but their rough
"linga-franca" presumes a preoccupation with
copulatory conquests and unassailable projections; as if they
needed to personify the etymological root of 'male' as
"evil" (eg: malediction, malevolent, malefactor), least
anyone forget its origin.
Could a simpering FEMme-fatale be substituted for a
PENILized MALEfactor in a
Although 'misandry' is the obverse of
'misogyny', there doesn't seem to be equivalent
terminology for "dildo" and "pessary" ...
despite the fact that lustful and irrepressible brutes have
always sought vaginal substitutes or copulatory surrogates.
Women don't mind a man's bad grammar and poor arithmetic as long
as these deficiencies favor them; and a man doesn't mind bad
grammar or poor arithmetic from a woman as long as she's
When the 'fair sex' heard about masculine formulary
"rites" they misunderstood the homonym and
presumed that they should enjoy female "rights"
without comprehending them. Women think that grammatical rules
extend to relationships, so 'lied' and 'lying'
must be conjugative forms of 'laid' and
'laying'; but men obey the "cad code" instead, which
directs "find 'em, fool 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em, forget
'em!" ... so the result is the same under "equal
rites", even if the attribution is different.
Men believe that life is only about 10% how you make it, and
about 90% how you take it; while women believe that life is only
10% how you take it, and 90% how you fake it!
Because women do whatever they want, they perceive men as acting
out of the same motive; but men will do things they don't want to
do so that their women will also comply.
Whenever anything bad happens to a woman, from
rape and battery to neglect and abandonment, it is perceived as
undeserved and happening, at least potentially,
to all women! But anytime that anything
bad happens to a man it's perceived by everyone
as well deserved, and many women think that it should probably
happen to more men! Whenever anything good
happens to a woman, from graduation and promotion to raise and
inheritance, her adulation and triumph is well deserved, and many
women think that it should probably happen to more women! But
anytime that anything good happens to a man it's
perceived by almost everyone as undeserved and
happening, at least potentially, at the expense of someone else,
someone just as good, someone even better ... and for most women,
such was stolen from a long-suffering, harder-working, more
deserving woman, such as his unacknowledged wife or unappreciated
mother, not to mention the female coworkers he's exploited, who
will never receive the credit they've earned!
If it weren't for the love of a good man, a woman could live her
entire life without learning of her many charms; and if it
weren't for the love of a good woman, a man could live his entire
life without learning of his many faults!
Women believe, as an article of true faith, that it's always the
man's fault ... they truly believe that men should know what
they've done wrong without being told, and should also understand
why they're not told. Men believe that it's never their fault,
but they understand that they'll always get blamed, no matter
what they do ... so it's easier to just accept the abuse, and act
The one thing that a woman cannot be forgiven is aging;
and the one thing that a man cannot be forgiven is
impotence ... everything else, from addiction and
insolvency to adultery and infanticide, can eventually be
Whenever a man utters the classic excuse: "you never told
me", he's inviting the woman's classic retort: "you
Nobody wants to be reminded of their transgressions or failings;
but when men err, women always expect them to apologize, and when
women err, they always expect men to forgive them.
A man is perpetually thoughtful, except when mating, whence he's
reflexive and paranoid; while a woman is perpetually reflexive,
except when mating, whence she's calculating and paranoid. In
other words, a man squanders a lifetime of clear insights for
some brief interludes of crazed lust, while a woman squanders a
lifetime of self-indulgence for some brief interludes of
desperate lucidity. It is said that a post-coital man is most
vulnerable to a woman's persuasion, as a pre-coital woman is most
vulnerable to male blandishments, but this is only because the
opposite sex is(finally) communicating in the mode of the other
... a woman rational and a man sensuous.
Women would rather be right than
reasonable ... but since men are
reasonable by their very nature, they're automatically
Women show their character most clearly in what they think
sad, while men show their character most clearly in what
they think laughable.
We are told that women are not supposed to be understood, but
simply loved for themselves; and since men insist upon being
understood ... in fact, emphatically demand that they be clearly
and completely and unequivocally understood ... then they alone
are responsible for being unloved, even unlovable.
It's often proclaimed that a woman's character is like a tea bag,
which only shows its strength when in hot water; but only a man
exhibits the subtilty and robustness of his flavorful tastiness
after many scaldings and dunkings and squeezings!
Women cry at the least provocation ... when they're sad or
lonely, hurt or sentimental ... until the shedding of tears
becomes a normal response to any situation, and there is
no way to differentiate a tragic or devastating moment. Women are
so overly dramatic and bathetically wasteful that they have to
resort to exaggeration whenever something serious impels a
justified response, because they've lost credibility by
squandering their store of emotions, trading authenticity and
reliability for comforting affection ... they have learned to
cry wolf in order to receive some petting. Men have
cultivated a demeanor of never crying so that when they
finally express their deepest feelings with wrenching sobs, their
broken hearts won't be mistaken for something unimportant.
The human animal's threat response of "fight or flight" is caused
by the autonomic nervous system; but acculturation has
conditioned women to shriek, weep, or swoon. Denied such
hysterical vents, men are socially compelled to ignore,
capitulate, or resist provocations. There's an essential visceral
truth about the different ways that people deal with their
problems, which has nothing to do with muscles or tears. Women
show their strength by talking about their problems, and men show
their strength by not talking about them. Our only commonality is
our ability to laugh at ourselves.
Alexis de Tocqueville noted the paradoxical tendency of
individualistic and independent Americans to congregate into
multifarious special-interest groups. As manifest
joiners of ulterior motivation, women associate with the
Worshipful Society of the Goddess, while men
associate with Friends of the Beaver; women
affiliate with the Shelter for Victims of Sexual
Abuse, while men affiliate with the Triumphantly
Tumescent Tricksters. The explanation for such
dichotomous motivation of voluntary membership remains
Women believe that every time a woman loses, all women lose; and
that every time that a man loses, all men lose ... and so it is
for winning ... which is why women sympathize with every other
woman, and delight in the humiliation of any individual man ...
since he, all alone and in the privacy of their bedroom,
represents all men. Men, by contrast, believe
that a man succeeds or fails on his own merit (or lack thereof),
and that a group of men only change their status if they all
participate ... and strangely, believe the same of individual
women as well as groups of women. So when he works ... or eats or
sleeps or whatever ... it is for himself, but whenever she does
anything, it's for the world!
In the bad old days of chivalry, it was ladies first;
then in the repressive days of paternalism, it was women and
children first; then in the compensatory days of affirmative
action, it was female preference; and finally in the
paradise of egalitarianism, it is girl's rules with all
accommodations and exceptions for fickle females ... so nothing
has substantially changed along the way, because women have
always dominated, and apparently will always dominate, by virtue
of their relentless nagging and their spasms of hysterical
acting-out, except that males are no longer men in any
sense of manliness or mastery. Women finally feel free to expose
all contradictory sides of themselves, and to emasculate the
dwindling population of humans with male parts, but without the
forbidden male propensities. At this point in history, women will
begrudgingly keep a few males around for procreation and
entertainment value, but the girls have finally restored the
Eden of the Goddesses. They believe themselves to be a
higher form of life that doesn't need to justify itself
to the other sex, those arrogant hairy beasts, and are
content to enslave their brutishness for its occasional utility.
Women scrutinize things so they can magnify problems, making the
insignificant into the monumental and making the significant into
the horrendous, in order to justify the excess of worry and
bother expended upon fixing these otherwise routine
matters; while men interrupt their normal routine to
fix things when they can no longer be ignored
... which is women demand repairs at the first sign of trouble,
while men make do until repair is essential. Women claim that
dismissing their urgent demands discredits their judgement, that
essential is just a matter of interpretation; but since
they don't make the repairs and have never tried to improvise,
the postponement model is more realistic. Women aver that such
procrastination only pertains to their desires, that there is
always time for in a man's schedule for whatever he finds most
important; but that's just magnified paranoia ... the proper
analogy is not to timing but to
maturity, as in hunting or fishing at the right
place, or harvesting at the right time. What women don't
understand about small problems is that most of them resolve
themselves, and men appreciate the fact that only major problems
require special attention.
Earnest women seek a cause to live for, while
earnest men seek a cause to die for!
When women are young, they believe that trouble only happens to
bad people, who deserve it anyway; then as they age, women
believe that men reign trouble upon the rest of the world,
harming the weak and innocent ... they believe that if only women
were empowered, then happiness and love and everlasting peace
would prevail. When men are young, they believe that there won't
be enough trouble left in the world for them to experience it, so
they make every effort to stimulate and simulate it, hoping for
some bragging rights of their own before they get to be
too old to participate ... and then they finally
realize how widely and readily available it is, and try to
reverse the process ... as if a falling rock could slow its
Women believe that trouble is entertaining, but that it can be
ignored whenever they're disinterested in it or frightened by it
... after all, this feminine logic works with sex, so
why not with danger?! On the other hand, men believe that trouble
is everywhere at all times, whether anyone is looking for it or
not, and it can't possibly be ignored, even if it's frightening.
Women turn to men to get them out of trouble because women
believe that men are the only real source of trouble, so they
never bother to learn the rules of that too rough boy's game;
however, men believe that trouble is endemic, and that men are
prone to trouble as a test of themselves, so they learn how to
deal with it. The number of women who cause trouble is
insignificant when compared to the number of women who inspire
trouble; while the number of men who can inspire trouble is few
compared to the number of men who cause trouble ... it's like the
difference between seduction and leadership, between stubbornness
and thuggery. Women are empowered by their pretentious
weaknesses, while men are compromised by their pretentious
While it's commonly known that women are the source of most
pleasure and the cause of most problems, it's equally evident
that men are the source of most stability and the cause of most
When men get lost, they won't request guidance and resent
unwanted advice that interferes with independent and
individualized problem-solving; but women will readily seek
assistance, and then will disregard it! Women will read a manual
and misunderstand the directions; but men work on the task,
retain the left-overs, and then check their accomplishment in the
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but most
women operate on the principle imitative of the
ostrich: whatever they don't become aware of,
doesn't exist. This isn't cultivated ignorance as much as
deliberate agnosticism ... they cannot be expected to understand
anything that they don't already know! This philosophy contrasts
markedly with the male of the species, who is no more competent,
but much more adventurous. Men tend to operate by the "take a
look" syndrome, even when they're incompetent or impotent to
affect the situation. A man will closely examine a malfunction,
as if it will display a label identifying the problem, while a
woman will admit defeat and immediately arrange for professional
repairs. Although a man can do absolutely nothing about natural
disasters and massive catastrophes, he will seek the experience
(if not the knowledge) of introductory exposure as a gesture of
faith, as a token of reassurance, as a symbol of intrepidity and
mark of distinction. This willingness to confront the perilous
unknown distinguishes him, not as "superior", but as worthy of
confidence and trust; and therefore, the appropriate leader of
his dependent group. The woman will curse his fallibility and
mourn his impetuous loss, but he is all she has to rely upon in
an uncertain and confusing world.
Now that science has linked risk-taking behavior with the
neurotransmitter dopamine, and disproved the alleged
link to the hormone testosterone, it hasn't dissuaded
women from their prejudices against adventurism ... because
both substances are higher in men, and
evince their domestic unsuitability: "Sorry honey, but my
genes made me do it!" It's not that men can't be trained to
be lap dogs, but why should they be when they're naturally better
suited to be hunting and guard dogs, rescue and service dogs?!
A woman accepts a man's flagrant inferiority ... selectively;
while a man accepts a woman's flagrant inconsistency ...
unselectively. Each indulges the other, but while a man finds a
woman's foibles endearing, a woman finds a man's foibles
In a matriarchal world, men are to blame for everything because
they are the underclass, and women are always right, due to their
superiority. In a patriarchal world, men are at fault for
everything because of their dominant position, and women are
always right, due to their superiority. Women nag men into doing
something, and then blame him for doing it; or women complaint
that their contributions are ignored, and that they could have
done a better job than the men. Most of all, no matter what
happens, women are never responsible for any mistakes or
failures, because there was always some interference. When men
succeed despite the interferences, then they've cheated on
acknowledging the critical aid of some contributing woman who
enabled their achievement. The only thing women are ever
responsible for is success ... and most of that has been stolen
by selfish and overbearing men.
Men and women have at least one thing in common: they don't trust
men. Consequently, women are betrayed by their trust in girl
friends, and men are betrayed by their trust in mechanisms.
Experts disagree, in a continuation of the nature/nurture
controversy, on whether people are born or become untrustworthy;
but the coefficient is that men do not take women seriously, and
vice versa. Each projects inferences and imposes deductions upon
the other, thus inhibiting and exacerbating their interaction,
and contributing to mutual exploitation. The only problem that
arises from these misconceptions and misunderstandings, these
exaggerations and under-estimations, these misjudgments and
miscalculations is that the violated trust is perpetuated upon
the next generation, ad infinitum. Stereotyping is just another
toxic byproduct of intercourse, or dangerous side-effect of love.
It is a woman's privilege to be impulsive and inconsistent; and
it is a man's to abandon such instinctual inconsonance to its own
Although each sex accuses the other of duplicity, almost no one
says what they want to hear. Women blame men for what they say,
for what they don't say, for what they do, for what they don't
do, and inexplicably, even for what they're thinking! ... women
even hold men responsible for their dreams, because they know
that if the dream were real, men would act in the same way! Men,
of course, being rational creatures, only wish that women would
keep a quarter of their promises and fulfill a tenth of their
Remember when men gladly doffed their hats, surrendered their
seats, and politely stood-up for women? ... until the fairer-sex
stood-up to piss, cursed or swore inarticulately, and demanded
laissez-passer to every man's privacy. Women were once as fresh
as dawn, and men would screw the crack of dawn if it would hold
still long enough, but in the arid atmosphere created by torrid
ambition, the penumbral respite is only a precursor of doom.
Women fall in love only after they get to know you, but men want
to leave when they know you too well. Women are always
calculating the angles, but men are always figuring the curves!
It is said that God permits Satan to exist so people have
something to blame for evil. It is also said that men were
created so Satan wouldn't get blamed for everything. And, it is
also said that women were created to take all the credit and keep
While women hope that every man's model gent will become
normative and constant, men hope that every woman's inner
slut becomes manifest and overt. A pessimist believes that
all women are evil; and an optimist hopes that they're all bad!
If little girls are
sugar and spice and everything nice;
then women are
part queen-bee and lady-bug,
part milch-cow and blowfish,
part powder-pigeon and muskrat,
part pig and mink,
part sow-bear and turtle,
part wild-cat and mermaid,
with a sponge for a heart,
and a cash-register mind.
If little boys are
sticks and snails and puppy-dog tails;
then men are
part hornet and cockroach,
part stud-bull and jellyfish,
part vulture and rat,
part boar and weasel,
part armadillo and alligator,
part goat and snake,
with a penny-bank heart,
and a steel-trap mind.
One of the few things that both men and women agree about is that
if a woman can't have intercourse then it's her
fault ... of course there's an inevitable debate about the cause,
even when the result doesn't change. However, when a man can't
get an erection, women blame the man, and men blame the woman! If
a woman emasculates a man then it's his fault, and if a man is
unmanly then it too is his fault. The female temptress, being
nothing more than a yawning gash, a receptive abyss, a vacant
cavity, is always womanly (even when torpid or
comatose), while the male of the species (as usual!) must
If a fox can shoot a beaver, then can a rat walk the
dog, can a weasel track a wildcat, can a skunk
erect a worm?!
With most sex-linked ('holandric') congenital conditions, like
hemophilia, Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, and albinism, women are
the carriers so men can be the inheritors ...
"Typhoid Mary" was a mother!
A woman's malady, from bunions to migraines, sciatica to dropsy,
always requires a consultation with her gynecologist; while a
man's ailment is always denied, even when he's bleeding in the
emergency room or confined in the intensive care unit ... a woman
believes that everything that's wrong has to do with her
sexuality, while a man believes that nothing is ever wrong, even
when it's undeniable.
When children are ill, women are nurturing and men are awkward;
when men are sick, they act like babies and women are supportive;
and when women are sick, men become childishly impatient and
children become independent.
There is nothing a woman enjoys so much as doing what she doesn't
like for someone whom she does like. There is nothing a man
enjoys so much as doing whatever he likes with whomever he likes!
The perversity of women consists in making others responsible for
their defiance and contrariness. The perversity of men consists
in making situations responsible for their inconsistencies.
Men believe that "boys will be boys" and that girls will be
perfect. Women believe that men are just over-grown little boys,
and that neither boys nor men should act like "real
Men believe that little boys are lovable but harmless, that young
men are irresistible and dangerous, and that old men are harmless
but lovable. Women believe that males are never
harmless; but men know that there's never been a
female who's completely helpless or totally harmless!
Women believe that all men are beasts, but some can be trained as
useful protectors and pets. Men believe that all women are
animals, but some are too wild and selfish to ever be tamed.
The primeval beast exists in a state of grace within its
essential nature, while primordial man exists as a profanation
within his essential nature, such that the wild animal is
awesome, but the wild human is merely outrageous.
Women think that everything is (or should be) about them, their
feelings and desires, their tastes and opinions, their appearance
and sexuality ... and if it isn't, then they either want to
change it or banish it! Men, on the other hand, being reasonable
creatures, only think that most things are about them ... and if
it isn't, then they either adapt it or ignore it. When frustrated
by disappointment, most men tend to suck it up and most
women tend to spit it out! It hasn't always been this
way, with men formerly talking trash and women
suffering in silence, but it probably won't stay this
way for much longer, as women become more ruthless and dominant
while men become more caring and sensitive.
If men are such churlish fiends, who are bent upon the utter
enslavement of innocent women, then why is there no
'female' equivalent for the male conditions known as:
"tied to her apron-strings", "hen-pecked",
Women believe that men are dangerous, but that alluring
admiration turns contemptuous when the captivated beast is so
easily tamed. Men believe that women are vulnerable, but that
alluring admiration turns contemptuous when the implacable
intransigence is revealed beneath the camouflaging veneer.
Notably, the effeminization of virility doesn't conclude with
unmanly impotence, but proceeds to the emasculation of weaklings;
such that male roles are typified as infantile models, of wimp,
fraidy-cat, scaredy-cat, cry-baby, cream-puff, softy,
namby-pamby, pantywaist, milksop, Milquetoast, mollycoddle,
sissy, pansy, and nancy-boy. Ironically, the denigrating
conversion of the female roles doesn't imitate the presexual or
asexual male, probably because women already fulfill the
baby-doll persona, but transfers to the dominant or masterful
of bitch-queen, ball-breaker, bull-dagger, and iron-maiden.
Deception is a useful strategy, but these guarantee mutual
Females claim to be tougher than males because women were
designed to endure pain and suffering, while men, they assert,
are vulnerable, and were only designed for pleasure! Males
righteously contend the exact opposite. Each defends their
claim to stoicism with anecdotal specimens, and alternately
points out features on one another's bodies that prove their
allegations. Women argue, as a sisterly act of faith, from the
surety of the childbed just as vehemently as men
proclaim, as a brotherly act of faith, from the surety of the
level playing field ... each is convinced, but neither
is convincing. Both are impatient with the physiological details
of comparative anatomy or anthropology, so they have reached an
accommodation: manic exercise for honeyed contestants and
ritualistic couvade for expectant fathers ... our hypersexuality
has made us more ignorant than ever!
The "testosterone rush" which gives insensitive males
gut-feelings for tough-love and real-gusto is equivalent to
"estrogen pumping" through the veins of hypersensitive
women, whose intuitive feelings blend tender-heartedness with
maddened moxie. Men's most powerful appeal is their stolid
gravity and staunch dependability; while women's secret weapons,
often augmented by scientific miracles and merciless
indoctrination, are amazing anti-gravity and alluring dependency.
When times are at their worst and men are not at their best, the
challenge will usually inspire them to do better than anyone
expected; but even when at their best, most women won't make a
difference in anything important or meaningful.
Women once demanded their fair share and their equal rights, the
exact same treatment and an even distribution, and having
rejected the onus of special consideration and having refused
privileged protection, they are now trying to prove that they are
not only as bad as men but can be
worse! ... but only if men are compelled to
comply with girl's rules! ... women are never forced to
obey man's law! Where there once was admiration and
tenderness, now there's only hostility and suspicion ...
getting one's own is the preferred strategy, so everyone
finds joy in the suffering of others. In these perennial gender
wars, ambition has murdered compassion!
Everyone should give men credit for not being as bad as
they could be, when women are no better than they
ought to be.
Women decry violence the whole time they're titillated and
fascinated by it ... and shrill little men who are too appalled
by violence to do more than echo their sisters are merely
compensating for their shrunken genitals! The iron fist in a
velvet glove is just a psychosexual fantasy of
sadomasochism, but blood sports are cruelest of all for
their disparate inequity. If it weren't for transference to
surrogates, these self-indulgent effetes, coddled and cosseted in
their impregnable sanctuaries, would be incapable of promoting
themselves beyond their evolutionary niche. The fact is that
violence is an atavism, an aberrant tropism that's dysfunctional
in the sedentary creature that has inherited the combative
ancestry of our forebears.
When a man is angry, most women deal with it by trying to ignore
it; and when a woman is angry, most men deal with it by trying to
evade it ... only idiots confront it and only fools attempt to
counter it, both of which alleged solutions only
escalate and exacerbate the situation. The anger management
solutions that are most successful in heterosexual relations are
almost never used in homosocial or interracial conflicts, which
is why these constitute the majority of cross-cultural human
Women decry violence the whole time they're titillated and
fascinated by it ... and shrill little men who are too appalled
by violence to do more than echo their sisters are merely
compensating for their shrunken genitals! The iron fist in a
velvet glove is just a psychosexual fantasy of
sadomasochism, but blood sports are cruelest of all for
their disparate inequity. If it weren't for transference to
surrogates, these self-indulgent effetes, coddled and cosseted in
their impregnable sanctuaries, would be incapable of promoting
themselves beyond their evolutionary niche. The fact is that
violence is an atavism, an aberrant tropism that's dysfunctional
in the sedentary creature that has inherited the combative
ancestry of our forebears.
The sexual schism that plagues humanity seemingly derives from
meiosis and henceforth extends into the mind-sets of gender
discrimination and reproductive differentiation. Although
inordinately jealous of each other's attributes, the penis
envy of yearning sisters cannot be ameliorated by
substitutes or simulations, regulations or reconstructions ... an
enslaved suitor or leashed eunuch can't alter Creation's destiny.
The modern woman knows that karmic resistance is futile, but that
doesn't anoint her with contentment, and so she celebrates her
Golden Vagina Syndrome by championing the dissatisfied
horde of chicks without dicks as they invade the
traditional domains of the now impotent male, the defanged and
declawed monster of yore. In her liberated frenzy, she must hoist
the banner and scream the slogan: "Pussy R Us"!
It is alleged that not only do the sexes differ philosophically
but they don't even share the same problems ... with both
claiming the qualitative distinction as favorable to themselves.
The serious problems confronting women include: emotional
dependency, humiliatingly impersonal medical examinations,
physical imperfection, menstrual cramps, cyclic bloat,
pre-menstrual syndrome, birth control, pre-/post-copulatory
pregnancy hemorrhoids and varicose veins, post-partum anxiety,
stretch marks, depilatory treatments, décor dependent,
stress, style ala mode induced cognitive dissonance, logic
impaired, mechanically challenged, tool/device incompetent,
manually awkward, mathematical ineptitude, creatively
disorganizational, neurotic preoccupations, pathologically
fearful about violence, obsessive/compulsive infantile fixations,
analyzes from general to specific, quests for adequacy, envisions
option-development pilgrimages. The authentic problems
confronting men include: emotional dependency, humiliatingly
impersonal medical examinations, physical imperfection, social
awkwardness, literary embarrassment, cuisine challenged, bodily
dysfunction, lust induced cognitive dissonance, sexual
inadequacy, impotence, relational immaturity, urinary
versatility, underwear stains, baldness, refractory pelage,
compensatory facial hair management, color-blindness, cleanliness
deficient, recreationally stressed, décor impaired,
monomania (identical for work, play, and burial), mechanical
aptitude, manual dexterity, tool/device competence, math/science
preoccupation, logical mind-sets, fearfully violent about
pathology, neurotic preoccupations, obsessive/compulsive
infantile fixations, analyzes from specific to general, quests
for ultimates, envisions problem-solving pilgrimages. Women will
not condescend to validate men's problems, and men will
not deign to acknowledge the womanly hardships.
Women, those fat pampered cows of self-indulgence, not only don't
know their proper place in society, demanding that every place is
now their rightful place, but feminists have driven men from
their hearth and home, their sweat shop and office, ousting them
even on skid row: those colorful denizens of desperate
displacement, the Bowery bum and the rail-riding hobo, have now
been joined by the bag lady and the welfare mother. Women believe
that, next to the striking of fire and the discovery of the
wheel, the greatest triumph of so-called civilization
has been the domestication of the human male ... women do not
need to see far from the shoulders of giants because they, in
their Lilliputian mind-sets, have dragged the mighty
male down into the muck with all the other lowlife
degenerates. Women proclaim that men who want to flee the happy
enslavement of contented domestication, of couch-potato
castration, of family-man America, are merely
enervated café rebels or potential recruits for
the new enlightened Foreign Legion: homosexuality. These
lubricious Delilahs believe that they have successfully tamed the
cave man, declawed and defanged the brute, so
that they can now pet this savage without fear.
It is much easier to accuse the one sex than to excuse the other.
If it weren't for the romance that blurs everyone's judgement,
procreation would probably be abandoned as a consequence of all
the improbable attributions and impossible disclaimers. There
must be something about women's essential biological function
which causes them to be so eminently practical and ultimate
fact-facers ... but it takes men to find the facts that women
inevitably face. So the contending juxtapositions get perpetuated
unto yet another generation.
Humanity has no future unless the past can be passed on ... women
do this by procreative inheritance, and men do this by inherent
creativity. The act is not as fulfilling as the achievement. The
attainment is not perfection, but wisdom.
If men are single-minded, exclusive, manipulative, and
progenitive, then women are broad-minded, inclusive,
accommodating, and procreative; which directs male creativity
into professional arts and skill crafts, and female creativity,
except for transference and sublimation, into reproduction.
Perhaps this is why women are unstable, erratic, fickle,
inconstant, mutable, capricious, and changeable ...
labia must mean labile.
Feminists bemoan male inefficiency so they propose a monopolistic
solution that sets men "free" to do whatever they do best,
allowing women to take over the bureaucracies of government and
business ... except that even with a conceded monopoly, women are
so changeable and incompetent that they will run things worse
than men! But, feminists argue, that's the whole point ... women
are not supposed to be "better" than men, since that's a sexist
attitude, but are now able to prove that they can be just as
stupid and corrupt as men have always been! ... and this "new
mess" is supposed to be a valid alternative to the "old mess"?!
... ah, progress! But since men don't want to "give up" their
terribly inefficient competition, and they really do enjoy
beating the hell out of the losers, then there never will be a
feminist paradise, except in the addled brains of some truly
unpleasant females who can't lure success by any other means than
The classic female contradiction is: "this case is an
exception to the rules"; and the classic male
contradiction is: "there are no instances of
exception to the rules".
Women tend to be personable, specific, and exception oriented;
while men tend to be impersonal, general, and universal in
orientation. Women tend to focus on money more than honor; and
men tend to focus on pride more than charity. When men make the
rules, they usually find that their rules apply to everyone,
except themselves; but when women make the rules, they find that
their rules apply to no one, except themselves.
Women express their loyal concern as possession; while men
express their loyal concern as responsibility. For each, love is
a form of psychological-manipulation, and sex is a form of
physical-manipulation ... although their methods may be similar,
their goals are different.
Men say: I'm going to get something; can I get you
anything? Women say: Would you like anything? I'm
thinking about having something. Whether referring to an
object or a function, the contrast persists ... with men being
positively decisive in the invitation, and women being changeably
indecisive in their accommodating invitation. Men will lead, but
women may switch.
When a woman complains, all the other girls know exactly what
she's talking about, even if they haven't ever experienced it;
but a man should never sympathize because he's
part of the problem, whether he's ever transgressed or
not, and his intervention will only make things worse, if not for
her then for all other females. When a man complains, all the
other boys know exactly what he's talking about, because a man
knows everything, even if he's never experienced anything; but a
woman should never sympathize because she's
part of the solution, whether she has any influence or
not, and her associative betrayal will only make things worse for
all other females! So the guiding precept is to never join a
woman's complaint, because you'll only sustain and amplify it,
and always join a man's complaint, because he might actually
learn something from the fracas.
Although both sexes shop to sustain life, and decorate to
embellish their existence, they do so from different motives, and
with very different results. Their "core values" may be
deduced from an array of their major concerns; which are
essentially contrapositive, if not obversionally contrary. As a
case in point, both sexes are more interested in play than in
work, but disputes arise when trying to define those terms. Women
tend to be more concerned about sympathetic communication in a
relationship; while men are concerned about sublimating their
empathetic non-verbal bonding through confrontational banter. Men
tend to be more concerned about sex than about their sex-partner.
Men are more concerned about eating junk-food than about the fine
cooking of a wholesome cuisine. Men are more concerned about
drinking adult-beverages than about laundry and hygiene. Men are
more concerned about sports and recreation than about ecology,
except when it affects their leisure activities. Men are more
interested in tinkering and puttering than in social occasions
and ceremonies. Men are more concerned about being merged and
tailgated in heavy traffic than about tailgating or yielding to
others. It's not that men are barbarians, and women are aliens,
but that everybody needs some autonomy and latitude to develop
deeper dimensions; and socialization can be negotiated without
being internalized. The fact that what usually grows in the dark
recesses of concealment often escapes to infect and distort the
greater community is an inadequate justification for declaring a
truce and imposing sanity upon the sexes.
Marriage is the most expensive and inefficient method for
obtaining regular sex, savory meals, salubrious companionship,
and hygienic domestic services. If it weren't for the
regenerative legacy, the free lunch and free sex and free laundry
wouldn't be worth it!
Women think that men are dumb enough to require regular watering
if they are to survive; and men hope that their frequent pruning
and other domestic cultivations will improve them.
The problem is that women think that chocolate is a vegetable,
and men believe that fermented wort produces a liquid vegetable.
How many liberated women does it take to open a can of
vegetables? ... none, because they've all gone to live with their
mothers and complain about their selfish partners! How many macho
men does it take to open a can of cold beer? ... none, because
the stupid bitch should've already had it open for them!
Dwellings are subdivided into gender-preference zones, such that
interaction in any given area tends to favor one party or
reinforce the sexual distinctions. Women prefer the bathroom,
kitchen, and bedroom; while men prefer the garage, basement, and
den. During domestic violence, women are most often murdered in
the bedroom, and men are most frequently murdered in the kitchen.
According to ancient mythology, the sexes were originally equal
in every way. After a time, the man got tired of not surpassing,
of never triumphing over his mate, so he asked God to give him
more power. Because he was the first to ask, God granted his
request. When the woman discovered that she could no longer hold
her own, and was doomed to lose by this unfair treatment, she
went to God to protest. God explained that He could not withdraw
what had been granted, but that He could balance things by also
granting her a request. She noticed some keys and asked what they
were. When God explained that they locked the doors to the
bedroom, kitchen, and nursery, she asked for them. Ever since
that time, men have had the power, but women have had the
Could it be that women use the toilet with greater frequency and
duration because they're more full of shit?! ... and, that women
get hemorrhoids more often because men are
perfect assholes?! And, if a man speaks in a
distant and trackless forest, without being overheard by any
woman, will he still be
When a woman says that she's as good as any man, what
she really means is that she's better than most
and not much worse than the rest; and when a man says that he's
better than any woman, what he really means is that he's
managed to successfully ignore or
evade each woman who's ever humiliated him
during unfair competition.
In any heterosexual organization, from marital relations to
corporate dynamics, the woman believes that she should be, by
right of natural law, the manager of stronger men, because she is
more intelligent and creative, more adaptable and intuitive;
while in those same organizations, the man believes that he
should be, by right of natural law, the leader of weaker women,
because he is more agressive and determined, more consistent and
reasonable. So although they both contribute to the household and
share domestic chores, they still struggle for dominance; and
although they both work and earn benefits, they still dispute
primacy ... the problem is not authority, but respect, since
neither values the essential other!
Whenever a woman uses her femininity or sexuality, by acting
girlish or sluttish, it is not sexist!
... but if a man notices, then
that is sexist!
It is amazing (if not marvelous) how the female of the
species manages to attain her ambitions by dint of dexterous
contortions, such as climbing the promotion ladder on her
back or striding into the winner's circle on her
knees ... it's unbelievable how a huff and puff
blow-job can shatter the imaginary Glass
If the vainglorious female symbol is a jealous dagger terminating
in a vanity hand-mirror, then the priapic male symbol must be a
bold erection extending from an asshole!
Men are roundly condemned for being too simplistic ...
and women for being too complicated ... needlessly so in
both cases, because when men attempt to compensate for this
deficiency, they almost always over-think and
over-emphasize, while women compensate by
and under-emphasizing. It's not a matter of estimating
the Aristotelean Golden Mean or splitting the calculated
difference, but of self-actualizing a persona other than the
Men with large complicated wrist-watches are compensating for
inadequate genitals. Women with immature and dependent pets are
compensating for an empty womb. It's alleged by the opposite sex
that men can't nurture anything without an engine or blueprint,
and that women can't nurture anything that isn't inadequate or
feeble. The epicene ideal for humanity will exist when women can
love independence and autonomy, and when men can love
irrationality and spontaneity. The old adage remains true:
you can't live with them, and you can't live without
The fact that more than half of the population
is female proves that there's no
lifeguard at the gene pool! By definition, that which is precious
is rare, and that which is rare is valuable ... thus women, being
a glut on the market, are excluded! Since goodness is
the scarcest commodity, being neither sex-linked nor genotyped,
it's the one most often falsified. So every woman seeks to
enhance her status and advance her reputation by showing that she
is too good to ever be the other woman; while
each man seeks distinction by demonstrating that nobody is as
good (or bad) as he ... each attempting
to reduce a plurality to a majority of
A conscience is, for most men, an anticipation of the
opinions of others, especially their peers and confreres; and for
most women, is an anticipation of her consummate wiliness in
evading any of the opinions of others.
What a man calls his conscience is the emotional
aftermath from an excess of good food and strong drink; what a
woman calls her conscience is the self-protective
calculation that warrants her security and well-being following
an emotional binge ... his is the drawing-back of hardness, and
her's is the quenching of brittleness in the edge-making process,
wherein each seeks to sunder their mutual dilemma.
A circle is recurrent even if it isn't redundant. When a woman is
outside the circle, she wants to get in; and when she's inside
the circle, she aspires to become like everyone else, but with
her own unique style. When a man is inside the circle, he wants
to get out, so he can be fulfilled in his own unique way; and
when he's outside the circle, he learns to function in various
ways. It's well known that the circle is a vicious cycle ... men
think they can pet it from a distance and have room to escape,
while women think that they can soothe it intimately and will be
too close to suffer. The circle we describe with our patterns of
maneuver are the creation of our persistence ... there are no
scaffolds or skyhooks.
When a man says yes he means yes, and
when he says no he means no ... unless
sex is involved, then anything he says means
persuade me. But when a woman says yes
she means maybe, when she says maybe
she means no, and when she says no she
means no ... unless seduction is involved, then
anything she says means persuade me! No
matter what a woman says, she means my way or
no way; and no matter what a man says, he
means my way or any way
It has been said that a man pursues a woman until she catches
him, but they're chasing different lures: while a man is
after a companion, a woman is after security and protection and
comfort ... no wonder they're both dissatisfied!
While some women are parading nude, others are concealing
themselves in costumes; while some are having casual sex, others
are being chaste; while some are having abortions, others are
seeking fertility treatments or adoptions; while some are
cultivating careers, others are cultivating husbands; and while
some are exercising their franchise, others are exercising their
opinions about anything and everything. As long as women, who've
always been in the majority but never in control, can't find
commonality on anything, from fashion and sex roles to morality
and autonomy, not even concordance on their fickle detestation of
men, then the putative sisterhood will never be united.
Women are too selfish and possessive to ever unite! At least men
are honest in their competition; their alliances may always be
changing, but they're always effective. A bunch of men can build
or destroy something together, but a clutch of women can only
comfort each other's crying!
Only in the realm of revisionist double-think can the numerical
majority, with the aid and consent of some rehabilitated or
converted other-gender-persons, be declared a deprived
and dispossessed legal minority deserving advantage and
protection!! The hand that rocks the cradle may shape and
shake the world, but affirmative-action by FemiNazis cannot
invalidate history's principles. Thus injustice becomes
intolerable, and unjust civilizations do not endure. Such a proud
evolutionary achievement for productive womanhood! Such a
fructifying legacy endowed by the double-X
Accounts of horrific and awesome violence are a
caution to women, and are an
inspiration to men ... women will try to avoid
repetition, but men will try to imitate these idiotic acts. Men
will surpass them quantitatively, but women will surpass them
qualitatively ... and each will blame the other for unwarranted
Men ardently believe that a satyriasistic rutting episode staged
at some lek/lekst„lle, replete with macho displays and redolent
with blood, sweat, tears, urine, froth, ejaculate, and
pheromones, as a profound demonstration of their ineluctable
virility, has more to do with competition than with egoism. Women
arrogantly believe that because this maniacal masculine
indulgence is for them that it is
If a woman doesn't manipulate the males in her life, then she'll
be dominated by them; and if a man isn't obsessed with the
females in his life, then he's perverted!
Everything in life, whether good or bad, begins
with a woman; and everything in life, whether good or bad,
ends with a man.
Women act indignant and outraged, in the same way that they
pretend orgasmic passion during sex, so that they can lay claim
to moral superiority and compassionate
rectitude, as if these usurpations were genotypical traits,
in the same way that men act strong and virile, assertive and
domineering, in the same way that they pretend expert experience
in sports, so that they can lay claim to competence and
effectiveness, honor and nobility,
because everyone knows that these traits are also reserved and
A woman, who has an opinion about everything, whether or not she
knows anything about it, considers herself an expert on
anything she's interested in, with herself being the sole, albeit
most prominent, exception ... and if a man presumes to
challenge her or to attempt to understand her, she will make
every effort to disprove and ridicule his conjecture.
Women, who're oriented to the hope of the future, believe that
they have always run things from behind the scenes, have always
conducted the affairs of society from the kitchen and bedroom,
and now simply want recognition for their manipulative
achievements ... with the overt power to continue their
reorganization of the world! Men, who're oriented to the hope of
the present, based upon standards and patterns set by evolved
trial-and-error empiricism, are reluctant to denigrate the
glory days of noble scions for the sake of whimsical or
moody innovation. Men, with their ruptured ideals and gross
generalizations, with their phallic cognition and childish
aggression, are content to relegate women to appropriate
supportive and ancillary roles. Women, with their sagging finesse
and girdled secrecy, with their prolapsed morality and pudendal
rationalization, with their conditional pheromones and
monoclinous opportunism, attribute their radical ineffectiveness
to uncooperative resistance and recalcitrant reluctance by
envious saboteurs. If everyone cooperated, then champion
leadership would be unnecessary!
Women may imagine themselves vital and essential and
indispensible, but the proof of their unimportance is revealed by
the fact that most women's names are adaptations of men's names
... Charlene, Petra, Samantha, Michelle, Adriana, Danielle,
Edwina, Olivia, Emily, Laura, Georgia, Antoinette, Henrietta,
Thomasena, Alexis, Claudia, Julia, Denise, Erica, Carla,
Stephany, and so forth. Being such an unwanted afterthought, it's
no wonder that an excess of female infants in ancient cultures
were commonly starved and strangled and drown.
If the prototypical nemesis is either the "wicked witch"
or the "heartless mother-in-law", then the archetypal
protagonist is the "knight in shining armor"!
The distinction between a fluffy grandma and a professional
widow, between an angelic consort and a cunning gold-digger,
between a secret seductive sharer and an ignoble gelding
partaker, between cultural heroine and assassins of tradition.
Her role models and protagonists include: Alcmene, Alice in
Wonderland, Amphitrite, Andromache, Andromeda, Aphrodite,
Ariadne, Artemis, Ashtoreth, Astarte, Ate, Athena, Aurora,
Beatrice, Bellona, Brunhild/Brynhild/Brunhilde, Cassiopeia,
Ceres, Cinderella, Corday d'Armont, Cybele, Dana‰, Delilah,
Demeter, Devi, Diana, Dorothy of Oz, Electra, Eos, Eris,
Evangeline/Evangelene. Eve, Fates, Freya, Frigg, Gaea/Gaia,
Graces, Gudrun, Guinevere, Hathor, Hebe, Hecate, Hecuba, Hel,
Heloise, Hera, Hestia, Horae, Hygieia, Iris, Iseult, Ishtar,
Isis, Juliet, Juno, Kali, Kriemhild, Lamia, Leda, Lilith, Luna,
Medea, Medusa, Minerva, Mnemosyne, Moira, Molly Pitcher (Mary
Ludwig Hays McCauley), Naiad, Nemesis, Nike, Norns, Ops, Oread,
Pandora, Persephone, Phaedra, Philomela, Phoebe, Pleiades,
Pomona, Portia, Procne, Rhea, Sarasvati, Selene, Semele,
Semiramis, Shakti, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Tyche, Venus,
Vesta, and others. From the ancient ideal of bonded lovers
enduring circumstantial tests, through the manipulative
evolutions of deceitful and duplicitous partners, the race has
finally presented the ultimate competition of faithless mates
vying for supreme personal autonomy ... with self-love and
private loyalty being the greatest achievement of human
Since women have replaced "hot-flashes" with
"POWER-SURGES", men have had to adopt the "male
menopausal mystique"! Probably due to diminished
testosterone [C19H28O2] levels, researchers have declared that
men's brains begin physically shrinking from age twenty, with
cumulative loss of cognitive and memory function, and
deterioration of the "sense of humor". Preventing the "Grumpy Old
Man" syndrome may not be possible, but men should exercise their
spearside minds by expanded interests and diversified thought
patterns. As with distaff degenerative dysfunctions (too numerous
to enumerate), male inattention and irritability is not a
monolithic "disease", but simply the "Male Mystique"!
At one time, womanly traits were embodied by the Graces,
entailing a demure and comely mien, mannerly deportment and
magnificent presence, a limited cognizance and refined
sensibility; but these civilized constraints are too restrictive
for modern feminists, who prefer license to conformity, and
liberality to principle. Virtue, on the other hand, is
just an old Latin word for manliness and
Now is the time for all GOOD
MEN to come to the aid of their fellow Male
Chauvinist Pigs! ... OINK!!